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How to Obstruct an Investigation
Obstructing an investigation
Is really easier than one thinks.
Surround yourself with fawning fans
To help you work out all the kinks.
It helps if you can early on
Fire the head of the whole shebang,
And then sully his reputation
With every subsequent harangue.
Build distrust in the FBI
So when the people hear those initials,
They'll remember how you impugned
The credibility of law officials.
Spread the fear that a secret society,
Cleverly organized and malicious,
Is out to get you, even though
In reality, it's fictitious.
Let your "friends" in Congress create
Alternate scandals that detract
From your investigation, even
Though they are not based on fact.
A news station that has the least
Credibility helps a great deal--
One that pedals conspiracy theories
With unabashed passion and zeal.
Undermine investigative
Efforts by frequently causing confusion,
And then repeat ad nauseum
"No collusion! No collusion!"
Using some Stalinesque techniques
Helps your cause, and once you've begun,
The people, too, will call the media
Public enemy number one.
Having power will make you feel
That you possess unlimited choices.
If democracy gets in the way,
Keep on trying to quiet voices.
All of the strategies listed above--
If they're mercilessly applied--
Will come in handy, especially
If you have something to hide.
-by Bob B (1-25-18)
Is really easier than one thinks.
Surround yourself with fawning fans
To help you work out all the kinks.
It helps if you can early on
Fire the head of the whole shebang,
And then sully his reputation
With every subsequent harangue.
Build distrust in the FBI
So when the people hear those initials,
They'll remember how you impugned
The credibility of law officials.
Spread the fear that a secret society,
Cleverly organized and malicious,
Is out to get you, even though
In reality, it's fictitious.
Let your "friends" in Congress create
Alternate scandals that detract
From your investigation, even
Though they are not based on fact.
A news station that has the least
Credibility helps a great deal--
One that pedals conspiracy theories
With unabashed passion and zeal.
Undermine investigative
Efforts by frequently causing confusion,
And then repeat ad nauseum
"No collusion! No collusion!"
Using some Stalinesque techniques
Helps your cause, and once you've begun,
The people, too, will call the media
Public enemy number one.
Having power will make you feel
That you possess unlimited choices.
If democracy gets in the way,
Keep on trying to quiet voices.
All of the strategies listed above--
If they're mercilessly applied--
Will come in handy, especially
If you have something to hide.
-by Bob B (1-25-18)
