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My life as well, has been full of disappointment and
loss. Sometimes to the point I want to give up,feel
lost and go numb. Perhaps in places I do. Good things
appear, hope restored. But many times left holding the
ball wondering why it could never last long enough?

Its hard to take sometimes, especially when one is
aware they themselves created their own reality and
have fallen victim to it. Why couldn't I be normal?
Just do what seems to come so naturally for others.
No,for some reason my lot in life is to fall short.

Regardless to my effort to know and be known it never
comes to past. And if by chance it appeared to do so,
only to soon reminded how foolish I had been..by how
short lived it was. Oh well another day and then
another until the time my life comes to it's end.

And after it's said and done I'll look back and ask
what was the point? All the emotions of having lived
it, once ruling how life was experienced, the
importance at the time and how much they affected
daily existence, will go to my grave with me.

The memory of who I was too myself,the person I wished
others could have embraced,the memories people hold
of me and the suffering it caused, will soon turn to dust.
We never could truly connect, because emotionally,judgments
and self denial killed any opportunity at it's crest.

So life has been spent in an eternal war where my emotions
become prisoners. Made to suffer for ever having being felt.
Just makes me want to cry and often do. Maybe death is
something is something to look Forward to. So why can't I?
Perhaps the fear nothing will change when physical life dies.

Maybe down the road along life's path there's something
waiting to appear, offering understanding making things clear.
Dispelling my inner burdens and releasing all the notions of
being a failure I fear. The experience will be so profound life
begins to reveal there's a divine purpose and reason I am here.

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Semi Rhyming `Life Reflection`