46,154 poems read

My life as well, has been full of disappointment and
loss. Sometimes to the point I have wanted to give up,
feel lost and go numb. Perhaps in places I am. Good things
appear, hope restored. but only to soon I begin to feel I've
been bluffed because it never seems to last long enough

Its hard to take sometimes, especially when one is
aware they themselves created their own reality
then have fallen victim to it. Why can't I be normal?
Just do what seems to come so naturally for others.
No, for some reason my lot in life is to fall short.

Regardless my effort to know and be known, it has never
come to past. how foolish I have been... Oh well another day
and then another until the time my life ends.

And after its said and done I'll look back and ask
what was the point? All the emotions of having lived
it, once ruling how life was experienced, the
importance at the time and how much they affected
daily existence, will go to my grave with me.

The memory of who I was too myself,the person I wished
others could have embraced,the memories people hold
of me and the suffering they caused, will soon turn to dust.
We never could truly connect, because emotionally,judgments
and self denial killed any opportunity at it's crest.

So life has been spent in an internal war where my emotions
become prisoners. Made to suffer for ever having to be felt.
Just makes me want to cry and often do. Maybe death is
something to look Forward to. So why cant I?
Perhaps the fear nothing will change when physical life dies.

Maybe down the road along lifes path theres something
waiting to appear, offering understanding making things clear.
Dispelling my inner burdens and releasing all the notions of
being a failure I fear. The experience will be so profound life
begins to reveal theres a divine purpose and reason I am her