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     “Why?”
 
She lay on
her couch
splitting her
view
between a
dying fire
that is in
the far
corner
of her living
room
with one of
the very dreary
day
creeping along
outside her
window,
she has no
motivation
her day off
wasting it’s self
away
as she
struggles
to get
comfortable
on her little
island
in the center
of the room
surrounded by
a sea of
depression,
she went out
last night
with friends
had a few
moments
of real fun
that constant
pressure
that always
seems
to be pressing
against her
clouding her
head
making her
body
feel weak
even after a
full night’s
sleep
it dissipated
for a while
as her friends
and the night
freed her
mind
pushing away
the clouds
long enough
to string together
small blocks of
liberated time
enough of them
to call
last night
a success
but there
were
valleys of
quietness
where she
dropped
out of the
stream of
conversion
and fell silent
nobody really
noticing
as she hide
in their
laughter
but now
the rain has
flipped a
switch
left her feeling
alone
on her boat
made of cushions
trying to press
back
once more
against the
waves of
despair
that are
crashing
over her,
today
should have
been
a good day
and if you
ask her
she wouldn’t
be able to
tell you
why it wasn’t,
she pulls a
pillow
over her face
giving up the
fight
to move past
the depression
today,
trying now
just to hide
from the pain
it brings on
her
nothing bruised
or broken
on her outside
but her
inner self
is so scarred
and beaten
it sits
curled up
in a ball
looking up at
her
for help,
she shakes
her
head sadly
back at the
ball
of confused
emotions
mouthing
to it
the words
“I’m sorry”
unable to help
herself
not knowing
how
to understand
and dissect
everything
curled up
inside her,
she peeks
out
from underneath
the pillow
the fire
has gone
dead
the rain
still falling
outside
there will be
no sun
in her life
today
as she keeps
asking herself
the same
question
over
and over
again
“Why couldn’t
today,
have been
a good
day”…
 
     Tom Allen…02-17-2018…