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     “Empty Days”
 
He felt ashamed
at missing her
as much as
he did
entertaining
himself
with past
conversations,
stories,
and filed away
images
all stored in
labeled
cardboard boxes
stacked neatly
in rows
chronologically
in the warehouse
of his mind,
he had thought
she would drift
from his heart
as the gaps
between them
lengthen
but the hook
of her smile
was sunk deep
not even time
could erode
it’s anchored
grasp,
even without
having to look
into her eyes
and pretend
he didn’t love
her
he still saw
those same
vivid shades of
color
peering back
at him
haunting his
thoughts
while teasing
his heart,
forgetting
should have been
easy
with so many
endless strings
of consecutive
days of void
trying to fill 
themselves up
with recycled
memories,
microwaved
thoughts,
and overexposed
copies
all from the
days before
he saw her
last,
he has cheated
his heart
letting it think
she was still
around
the corner
giving it snips
and pieces
of his prerecorded
times
with her
editing the footage
of his stored
data
making the memory
look different and
new
a skill he
perfected
fooling himself
into thinking
she cared
a little bit
more for him
then she really
did
reflecting her
smile
back towards
himself
when he knew
it was meant
for someone
else
and remembering
it
as his,
a life now of
mirrors
and spliced together
memories
and because
of all that
he felt ashamed,
but even so
he missed her,
he missed her
so very
very
much…
 
     Tom Allen…03-10-2018…