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     “He Knew”
 
He knew that
he wouldn’t be
missed by her
deep down
he knew where
the truth was
hiding
he had learned
over time
how to look
only
at the surface
of his heart
skipping over
places
that can’t be
unseen,
he had been
shown
countless times
his presence was
only tolerated by
her
due to a
sympathetic
feeling
he somehow
dragged
out of her
probably
earned by
some misdeed
she inflicted
on another
many years ago,
she kept
piling up facts
in front of
him
giving him
the answers
to all of the
questions
he was afraid
to ask
he knew
she didn’t want
any of his
friendship
no matter how
many times
he wrapped it
up
and gave it to
her
it always just
ended up
getting tossed
to the side
casually discarded
like a used
candy wrapper,
but this didn’t
phase him
he just retooled
her responses
molded them into
something
that made it
look
as if she did
care,
an unfair deception
on his part
but a necessary
evil
when you live
your life
behind a lie,
he thought of
himself
as a craftsman
taking the very
little bits
she gave him
and making
them
into so much
more,
spending his
days
fighting the
cruel face
of reality
unable to
look it in
the eye
not wanting
to be forced
into admitting
what everyone
else
could clearly
see
instead
he just swings
away
blindly
the only real
damage
inflected
is to his
own heart,
he knew
the truth,
he wouldn’t
be missed,
at least,
not by
her…
 
     Tom Allen…03-23-2018…