melissaahowells
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Drugs have never nor will ever fix me. But Big Pharma may have made a ton. Booze in the past pixilated and jinxed me. But it made me into a Magic Box Dancer... and how we laughed together a two-man mob, how we laughed a riot had our times how the times had me how we made fun. Mary Jane once got ahold of me we travelled so up into the sky so took a trip together in a bright blinking car to the ER where the television talked directly to me and we shared some serious secretive words... how absurd for all the commercials were spoken directly to me and how the volume seemed to screech the words jogging rapidly in place while their meaning slowed way, way down. It took four days for my brain to settle down to Normal Town. In my vain-glorious youth I was truly fresh-faced and dewy-eyed dumb. Wide-open wide-eyed from the Midwestern branded as they come. Took a joyride on a hot-wired golf cart on the long-par golf course at midnight then forgot the brakes and the six-pack so it got parked itself in the lake on down the hill... then within the same week got chased by a black bear when our car broke down on Pine Beach Ridge. I dodged the sugar bullet of one marriage proposal and afterwards got slim to none for asking... and wondered what it was that I had done. Nearly most of my life I altered myself to please... like an Interior Decorator would I don't quite who it made happy, I know it mostly did me no darn good. The years have flown by... I'd lasso them back if I was capable if I could. I've changed my exterior and demeanor but not for others like I normally would. I no longer hide out in the basement nor camp out by the Red River alone in wood tick filled woods. I'd clutch at my dying flashlight for comfort and nibble on dried out tomato sandwiches and scribble in my notebooks nor sketch calm collected faces in the dark. It pays more to face the world unaltered and not to change my spots to meet the mark. No longer do I aim to make for great entertainment. Mostly my aim is to be straight and true. I've made it harder on myself putting myself to task and false arraignments wearing myself down to my edges with standards of steel. So I'm not one for giving advice because to much to me has been given. You have to learn as you go along, that is called living. Still I have to sometimes shake may head vigorously to loosen up the words stuck in my head the ones she said to me "You're not enough for me. And other people will turn away if they don't like what they see, which is the same thing I see in you." Back then at six, I recognized her falsehood and it was more about her too. Don't ever, ever let someone try to rearrange your molecules... and live your life the best you can within your own follicles. ************************************************************** 1:09pm APRIL 29 2018 TIME/DATE STAMPED AND COPYRIGHTED LEGAL COPYRIGHT FOR THIS POEM/WORK AND ALSO FOR THIS AUTHOR/WRITER/POET MELISSA A HOWELLS AND ALSO FOR THIS LEGALLY COPYRIGHTED SITE TITLE: MELOO STRAIGHT FROM HER TILT-A-WORLD Vote for this poem |
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