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In The Sanctuary Of My Head

The Broken-Winged Birds and People (re-edited 4/5/2323 3:03PM PST) (re-edited 11:14am PST 2/23/2023)

The Hell Of Winter (re-edited 4:27pm PST 3/9/2023)

My Grey Haired Love...La La Lullaby , La La Lullaby My Love

THE HEART IS AN ORGAN ON FIRE



When Mr. Bemish Lost His Last Good Pair of Glasses

Kathy Brown Kathy Brown

Something Not Quite Right About Here (Vortex) re-edited 1/26/2023

THE COOL TILES BENEATH MY FEET REMIND ME

The Way Of The Crow

DO YOU TURN THE LIGHTS SO YOU CAN SLEEP?

The Springtime Shadows Play Games Upon The Wall

CHRONICLER OF DREAMS

YET ANOTHER ANTI-POETRY POEM ( re-edited 11/2/2022)

You Do As You Please 8/17/2005 found poem, readjusted 6/20/22

HERE WE SIT AT OUR TABLE 2/19/2022

Much Better Than This ( A Conversation With The Universe)

The Straight Story (What Happens When The Writer Inserts You Into Her Story)

THE TIDE CALLED LONELINESS

A Girl Always Leaning Forward Looking for A Breeze

Entanglements

Have You Ever... (DECEMBER 4/2021)

Appetites

How I Still Love You

The Smile Which Eludes @

He Says To Me, I Think Too Much (and hence dream too much as well)

When You Learn Who You Really Are And What Is...

Anti-Poem Number Three 8/2/2022 Or, A Poem Your Proper Mother Wouldn't Write

Breathing On My Own

A Girl Is More Than a Beautiful Box re-edited 10:15pm PST 1/31/22

I LOVE YOU ALWAYS ANYWAY AND INSTEAD

Talk To Me In The Dark 7/8/2022

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Live Your Life The Best You Can Within Your Own Follicles


*************************************************************

Drugs have never nor will ever fix me.
But Big Pharma may have made a ton.

Booze in the past
pixilated and jinxed me.
But it made me into a Magic Box Dancer...
and how we laughed together
a two-man mob, how we laughed a riot
had our times
how the times had me
how we made fun.

Mary Jane once got ahold of me
we travelled so up into the sky
so took a trip together in a bright blinking car
to the ER
where the television talked directly to me
and we shared some serious secretive words...
how absurd for all the commercials were spoken
directly to me
and how the volume seemed to screech
the words jogging rapidly in place
while their meaning slowed way, way down.
It took four days for my brain to settle down
to Normal Town.

In my vain-glorious youth
I was truly fresh-faced and dewy-eyed dumb.
Wide-open wide-eyed from the Midwestern
branded as they come.
Took a joyride on a hot-wired golf cart
on the long-par golf course at midnight
then forgot the brakes and the six-pack
so it got parked itself in the lake
on down the hill...
then within the same week
got chased by a black bear
when our car broke down on Pine Beach Ridge.

I dodged the sugar bullet of
one marriage proposal
and afterwards got slim to none for asking...
and wondered what it was that I had done.

Nearly most of my life
I altered myself to please...
like an Interior Decorator would
I don't quite who it made happy,
I know it mostly did me no darn good.

The years have flown by...
I'd lasso them back if I was capable
if I could.
I've changed my exterior and demeanor
but not for others like I normally would.
I no longer hide out in the basement
nor camp out by the Red River alone
in wood tick filled woods.
I'd clutch at my dying flashlight for comfort
and nibble on dried out tomato sandwiches
and scribble in my notebooks nor sketch calm
collected faces in the dark.
It pays more
to face the world unaltered
and not to change my spots to meet the mark.

No longer do I aim to make
for great entertainment.
Mostly my aim is to be straight and true.
I've made it harder on myself
putting myself to task
and false arraignments
wearing myself down to my edges
with standards of steel.

So I'm not one for giving advice
because to much to me has been given.
You have to learn as you go along,
that is called living.
Still I have to sometimes shake may head
vigorously
to loosen up the words stuck in my head
the ones she said to me

"You're not enough for me.
And other people will turn away
if they don't like what they see,
which is the same thing I see in you."

Back then at six, I recognized her falsehood
and it was more about her too.

Don't ever, ever
let someone try to rearrange your molecules...
and live your life the best you can
within your own follicles.

**************************************************************

1:09pm APRIL 29 2018 TIME/DATE STAMPED AND COPYRIGHTED
LEGAL COPYRIGHT FOR THIS POEM/WORK AND ALSO  FOR
THIS AUTHOR/WRITER/POET MELISSA A HOWELLS
AND ALSO FOR THIS LEGALLY COPYRIGHTED SITE TITLE:
MELOO STRAIGHT FROM HER TILT-A-WORLD












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