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     “A lesson learned Too Late”
 
It finally came
to him
he was starting
to understand
his mistake
and how
wasteful
his choices
with his life
have been,
he had spent
his whole life
working on a
build up
to its end
somewhere
in his corrupt
thinking
he saw his
destiny
as preplanned
as some sort
of final scene
from a movie
he had always
thought
he was meant
to be a hero
the sacrificed
pawn
in the grand
game
someone
who is put
in harm’s way
to take the
fall
in the place
of someone who
really mattered
this being his
contribution
to the world
and his ticket
to being someone
worth remembering,
he lived each
day
just waiting
for such a
scenario    
to unfold
in front of
him
honing his
edge
preparing his
mind
to be able
to react with
courage
and without
hesitation
never investing
anything into
his own future
always just waiting
to be ready
for his end,
looking back
now
he can see
what a coward
he really was
hiding behind
a heroic fantasy
never working
towards
making his life
count
on its own
merits
by trying to
become
someone who
mattered himself
instead of just
waiting around
to show up at
some undetermined
place
at some undetermined
time
and walk into
his already scripted
demise
which would leave
him
a hero
in the eyes
of his family
and the world
falling asleep
every night
waiting for his
big day
when he can
prove
to everyone
he is a
man,
but now the
years have passed
as he sits
alone
putting another
spoonful of
vanilla pudding
into his mouth
ashamed
at the gift
he was given
having watched it
wither away
before his eyes
without ever
knowing,
till now
when the
foolishness
of his prophesized
destiny
became transparent
to him
in the weening
hours
of his life,
a cruel joke
revealed
to him
just so he’d
know why
the world
was laughing
at him
before he
takes
his last few
breaths
making sure he
completely
understood
the magnitude
of the mistake
he made
betting his life
in the way
he did
waiting to
die
as a hero,
he scrapes the
sides
of his pudding
cup
comes up with
one last spoonful
of vanilla pudding
puts it in his
mouth
then closes his
eyes
and dies
a very boring
and uneventful
death
with a plastic
spoon
hanging out
of his open
mouth…
 
     Tom Allen…05-04-2018…