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“Second Sight”
 
Somedays
he didn’t want
to have to open
his eyes
he saw too much
of the world
on those days
unfiltered
and raw,
his perception
of other people
was too deep
and overpowering
for him to just
ignore,
he saw through
their painted on
smiles
and false fronts
and felt what
was really going
on in their hearts
what they were
trying to hide
from the world
behind their
emotional makeup,
their pain and
sorrow
that they didn’t
want to be seen
was projected on
to him
causing him to
have to be aware
of all the suffering
they were having
to endure,
he couldn’t stop
himself
from seeing all
their inner secrets
a nonstop emotional
drain on his spirit
that left him
without any life
in his soul,
he would see an
old man
with a look of
contentment
on his face
spending his days
feeding the birds
in the park
smiling at all
the babies
as their nannies
pushed them by
in their over priced
twin seated strollers,
but he also saw
the man beneath
the polished surface
the one being
eaten away
by his loneliness
his heart broken
from having lost
his wife to cancer
the year before
as he sat
on their bench
in the park
wanting to die,
he adverted his eyes
looked only at the
sidewalk below him
till he got on the bus
but then he was
drawn to another
having a need to
look over at the
teenage girl
sitting on the bus
listening to her music
while handing out smiles
to the young boys
passing her by
not even giving her
the slightest bit
of attention,
as a voice
inside of her
head
was yelling at her
telling her that
she was fat
calling her a loser
stating in a loud
commanding tone
that’s why you don’t
have any friends
her self respect
so diminished
she can no longer
fight back
against the words
being thrown at
her
beaten down by
the fake facts
constantly bombarding
her
on the inside
of her head,
she just sat there
in silence
hoping the voice
would just go away
and leave her
alone,
he hated
having to know
of her unanswered
pleas of help
for just one trusted
friend
to comfort her
to talk to her
to tell her she
mattered to someone
in this world,
it was just
too much for him
to take in
the weight of it
all falling on him
to somehow help
these people
but he didn’t know
what to do
he had his own
problems hidden
out of the public’s view
pains he suffered
in silence
just like the rest,
he closed his eyes
for the rest of
his ride home
wanting to approach
the girl
but not having
any idea of
what to say to
her
that wouldn’t just
come across
as creepy
from a guy she
didn’t even know
she got off at
the next stop
her inner cries
for help
he was hearing
lessening as
the bus pulled away
from the stop,
he dreaded these
days
when the world
revealed to him
more than he
wanted to see
already hating
himself
for doing nothing
but pretending
he didn’t see
what he knew
was right there
in front of him,
it was the middle
of the day
when he got home
but still he
crawled into bed
holding on tightly
to his pillow
as he tries
to create some
darkness
in the sunlit room
around him
by pulling the
covers
over his head
while he waits
for his mind
to clear
and the night
to come,
and his ignorance
to return to him…
 
     Tom Allen…06-10-2018…