melissaahowells - Oh What A Fall

I am someone who feels deeply
and thinks deeply
sometimes I write to remember
something
someone
I feel I must remember

she does deserve to be
remembered:

she was diminuitive
as small as a child
the first time I saw her
she was loaded
and had a black eye
I passed judgment
it wasn't a kind thing for me to do

we all have addictions
and pain
I grew up with an alcoholic
and a Mother who wasn't there
unless I met her necessary standards
for a seal of approval

the place where I now live
everyone's pain hangs out
like underwear that needs a wash
so many misfits and weirdos
the last stop for many

she had been locked out of her apartment
she had a frightened little dog with her
and she was surly
I recognized the fear
and helped her
I was hoping for a thank you
but I didn't get one
looking back now
I didn't realize how arrogant that attitude was

kindness shouldn't be some kind
of binding agreement
if its offered with stings
that what use is the use
of being kind
there is no use...

today
this very afternoon
a friend and good neighbor
told us this same little lady
had leaped from her fifth floor balcony
to her death

our friend and neighbor
who is someone who goes to every apartment when someone
has died and tidies up and does the thankless unthinkable
she asked me if I had any bleach
to clean up the spot where the small lady landed
she wanted to give her some dignity in death
she wanted to clear out the gawkers
this lady's little dog
now has a new place to go
but I'll bet she never wanted to leave
her lonely friend

this lady's family has been called
I wonder how they will accept this
or if they will even react
it seems this lady was always alone
and here relatives
had already been long-absent

death here in the building
is a cold too-often fact
and so is loneliness

like I said
for many
this is the end of the line
for this little lady
who lay on the ground
looking to the world
as if she was a small child
asleep
her life ended too soon

she was younger than I
I didn't know her
but I have a feeling
that I understand how she felt

fragile
so fragile
oh what a fall
she took

legal copyright for this poem
written directly to the page
and also for this writer Melissa A Howells
and also for this legally copyrighted site title
Meloo Straight From Her Tilt-a-World
8-19-18 2:17pm PST

I cannot write her name
but this is to remember her and that she lived.