Dear Dr. Phil, my mothers neurotic
My fathers psychotic
My brothers a cheerleader
My sisters a jock
Can you help me fit in? I feel so odd.
Help Dr. Phil! my son has grown fangs
He sleeps all day
And howls all night
He's such a hairy boy
He gives me a fright!
Dear Dr. Phil, when I go to bed
My new hubby heads to a cave
Comes home at daybreak
And hangs around the ceiling all day
I'm beginning to wonder, did I make a mistake?
Hey Dr. Phil, my parents are old fashioned
Uptight and invasive
They're messing up my karma
And my zen can't take it.
Dear Dr. Phil, I'm overweight
Overworked, mistreated and agitated
If I come on your show, it should boost your ratings
I don't need a book or a therapist
Just a paid for trip, on a good time ship.
