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“Lost in the Rain”
 
He felt embarrassed
for even thinking
about her
she had said
she didn’t want
anything to do
with him
went so far
as to put it
in writing
but hockey season
was starting
and it always
made
him think of
her,
the rain had
trapped his
mind today
with just that
one thought
of her
bouncing around
inside its lead
painted walls
he missed
being able to
think of her
without the
threat
of mental anguish
dropping in
and taking over
his thought
rearranging a fond
memory
in a way
that even he
wouldn’t recognize
it
when the torment
to it was
through,
because of this
he rarely
retrieved
his most
precious
thoughts of
her
weighing the
pleasure
they give
him
when he rolls
them around
in his head
against the
possibility
of their loss,
but when they
did find their
way
out of captivity
on their own
he couldn’t
make himself
turn away
from them
once he
caught a
glimpse
of her form
or saw the
vivid colors
of her eyes
he’d follow that
thought around
till it dropped
from exhaustion,
the rain started
coming down
sideways
in sheets
a dead calm
of a second
or two
before the next
wave would
strike against
the front side
of the house,
he curled up
into a quiet
corner
of the couch
freeing his mind
of all the
little things
around him
so he could
absorb
every tiny detail
of that one
thought
of his
before the lead
painted walls
it was bouncing
against
poisoned it
and it ceased
to exist
for him
in his mind
kicked out
and forced
to live
in exile
in the dark
folds
of forgotten
time…
 
     Tom Allen…09-15-2018…