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     “The Gap”
 
His heart was
broken
over losing a
love
he never had,
wanting to
believe
the pain he
felt
was from a
truly real
source
but it wasn’t,
he had made
her attainable
in his mind
only
without checking
where he
stood
in hers,
a relationship
deficiency
that couldn’t be
over looked
but that
was just
what he
was doing,
even when she
politely shoved
that fact
in front of
him
he found a
way
to make it
seem
like it wasn’t
ever there,
she could see
his eyes
changing
the looks
she
once got from
him
would playfully
bounce off of
her
then make their
way
back to him,
getting a second
longer glance
every now
and then
when he couldn’t
resist
checking out
her
fluid lines
in a way
only a man
would do,
she noticed
him
start to study
her
a face he
knew well
but was now
looking deeper
into it
trying to find
something more,
the hesitation
he now had
in his voice
when he spoke
to her
hoping to find
some hidden
meaning
in her words
that wasn’t
ever there,
she wanted to
help him
get through
this
that gap
between
when everything
you do
feels wrong
back to the
point
where it feels
right again,
but he dropped
her hand
somewhere in
the in between
still thinking
he
could change
the out come
if he just
believed
hard enough,
chasing after
her
with words
and actions
that were
meant
for her to
secretly
figure out
how he felt
about her
making her
want
to be even
closer to
him
once she
finally knew
the truth,
she could see
him
floundering
in the ever
growing gap
of the in
between
knowing she
couldn’t save
her drowning
friend
she had to
let him go
to keep from
being pulled
under too
a simple matter
of self-preservation,
not that he
could see any
of this
all of which
was quite
obvious
to her
and the rest
of the world
standing on
the shore of
his abyss
it just wasn’t
possible
she couldn’t
feel
the same way
he did
in his mind,
he saw her
standing there
a few more
times
through the
waves of
despair 
that were
hitting his
face,
no longer
holding her
hand out
to him
never understanding
the situation
he had put
himself in,
he only got
one clear
look
of her face
and her lines
as he took
his last
gasp of air,
that image
was all he
tried to
hold on to,
as he sunk
to the bottom
of the gap…
 
     Tom Allen…09-30-2018…