ATTENTION: This is not to be taken literally
It was written purely in jest
Please DO NOT attempt any of this
It could result in injury or death.
Professor's Gravleeill's Tips For Better Living
Don't shoot a fly off your friends head with a
Pistol, a rifle works much better, Don't go
For a Sunday drive on Sunday, Do it
Monday morning, in front of a fire truck
Keep your weight at 800 lbs, if there's a famine, you'll
Live longer than everyone, don't kiss ugly people
You'll catch it, don't pierce your lip, pierce your
Eyeball instead, it's makes a bolder statement
Don't waste little brothers, make them eat your
Burnt toast, they make good ball bases, If you're
Bored, pull their eyelids open while they're sleeping
Use your imagination, the possibilities are endless
If you live on the twentieth floor of a high rise
And your Hubby sleepwalks, be sure to keep
The windows open, you wouldn't want him to
Bump his head on the glass
My last piece of advice today is, if inserting a
Suppository is painful, try removing the foil
Wrapper first.
