Beyond Terra

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"Crowded Loneliness"  

{There's a crowd, there's a crowd, there's a crowd of
loneliness}

Here I sit surrounded by party people fizz, bubbling gleefully.
But I'm in the pits down in my zone so I can only see me.
Thus, death to the chit-chatty tones and slurred speech.
For their voices become catty echoes far from ears reach.

Got up to walk down beaming streets stepping hip to side
unable to speak.
Gulping squawk sounds of steaming weeps ebbing, drip, and slide
down unstable cheeks.

Can't hold back forsaking eye contact, for my pride is destroyed
as I try to avoid the grandstand of gaudy faces, gaudy
clothes; of hand-to-body collision. For lonely teardrops
cloud my vision.

{I wish it would rain, I wish it would rain,
I would sing it if I could sang}

Headbutting and unsorted collides. Zombie strutting in
morbid strides. In search of a safe haven. A wide
divide is what I'm craven of needed segregation to hide
in heeded dissociation.

Joyful laughter, gleeful merriment, and happiness all
about. While my lungs fill with hot winds pressed
against my chest in demand to be let out.

The voice of silence, the quiet stillness of the night;
the pains of yearning for thee with all my might.
Curse the agony of my plight.

Can I please, can I please put my mind at ease

Where art thou, Oh shelter... Ye place of refuge? Do
not leave my spirit to wilt and welter. Grant my soul
your peace and grace nay of down-pouring tears deluge.

In my sorrowful demotion to bear the toil of these
boisterous turmoils secure the coiled and shrouded
aloofness of my crowded loneliness.

{There's a crowd, there's a crowd, there's a crowd of
loneliness}

Supreme balance is a hand toss.
Today it is I who bears the cross.

__________________________________

Copyright Niyna DeSangre

01182009



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`Crowded Loneliness`