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     “He Tried To”
 
He tried to
make himself
believe
he was worthy
of more in
his life
then what little
it contained,
tacking up a
lie
on the empty
wall
in front of
him
something he could
stare at
another illusion
in his world
of make believe,
he turns from
the wall
to the window
inserting himself
into the day
without leaving
the room
bypassing the
need
to go outside
to get the
real experience
casually watching
a world walk
past
that he no
longer
is a part of,
the plastic pieces
of a Lego
life
preformed
and constructed
against his will
snapped together
into patterns
that he can’t
conform to
dropped into
situations
where he never
seems to fit
wanting to melt
it all down
and re-pour
the world he
lives in,
he dreams of
average women
having some kind
of presence
in his uneventful
life
willing to settle
for just a
minor appearance,
an unwanted
smile
or a recycled
glance
something to show
him
his shadow was
connected to a
living
breathing
man,
wanting to conquer
his fears
but now only
fighting
to survive
within them
consigned to
the predestine
outcome
of having to
live in a
poor adaption
of a pedestrian
life,
he fortifies his
mind
by telling it
today will be
different
holding on to
that thin thread
of hope
as he steps
out
in to the
light
of an over
worked sun,
disappearing
in the glare
of a normal
day
waiting to be
told
what shape
he has to
try and
contort
himself
in to next…
 
     Tom Allen…11-04-2018…