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     “The Dream”
 
His whole body
was shaking
when he woke
up
icy cold chills
running through
him
on a night
that never would
dip below 80
degrees,
he sat on
the edge of
the bed
trying to regain
his form
steady his hand
as he reaches
for the lamp
on his nightstand,
the vividness
of the dream
he had woken
up from
suddenly hits him
he drops his
out stretched arm
to his side
deciding to
fore go the
light
to just sit
in the dark
as he starts
to sort things
out
trying his best
to remember
as he is
reeling in his
dream
frame by frame
trying to put
as much of
it back together
as he can
before he forgets
it’s intensity,
the stillness of
the night
is broken
by the sound
of her voice
speaking to him
with tones
and words
he has never
had spoken in
his direction
before
with the kind
of feelings
poured into
each word
that made them
seem almost
magical
to hear,
they were both
in their teens
laying on their
backs
her left hand
rested on top
of the open
palm
of his right
hand
staring up from
the lush
short cut
grass
on the school’s
playground
talking about casual
things
on an average
day
that she made
seem
important,
the bright blues
of the dream’s
sky
splits the total
darkness
of his room
with its extraordinary
colors
the dream being
brought back to
life
in his mind
in such sharp
detail
and contrast
that it was like
it was projecting
it’s self
on to all four
of his bedroom
walls at once
and he was
sitting inside
of it,
she rolls onto
her side
after saying something
that would be
profound
for a girl
of her young
age
he hesitates
before turning towards
her
afraid to confront
her beauty
face to face
and being overpowered
by her look
leaving him
unable to function
in the shadow
of her visual
presence,
even in his
dreams
his insecurities
rise up to
fight him
but when she
whispered
“I think
I love you”
in a way
that phrase
had never been
uttered
before this day
in time
she drove all
his fears away
and as he
turned
to face her
his heart was
lost
as it slipped
into her eyes,
their bodies were
still several inches
apart
but it felt
to him
like all her
weight
was resting on
top of him
every little part
of her body
molded to his
in a connection
so complete
that nothing could
ever come between
them
the only true
time
in his life
that he had
ever experienced
a moment
at its pinnacle,
then the perfect
scene
dissolved away
leaving him
alone
in a car
staring into the
rearview mirror
of the car
in front of
him,
his eyes locked
in a silent
struggle
with the eyes
of her father
who had just
tore her
out of the
picture
he was sharing
with her
on the playground,
and now
shouting that
he
would never matter
to him,
her,
or the world
with the look
he carried
in his eyes,
a reflection
conceived in hate
meant to cut  
him
as deep
as was humanly
possible
to remind him
he was unworthy
of being loved
by anyone,
a common thread
that ran from
his life
through his dreams
a fate
he was about
to accept,
but then her
dad
finally got tired
of staring him
down
with his hate
as he waited
for the light
to change
from red
to green
so he tilted
the rearview
mirror
down
so he wouldn’t
have to see
the ugliness
of this boy’s
face anymore,
not knowing
that the new
angle of the
rearview mirror
he created
lined up perfectly
with the eyes
of his daughter
sitting in the
backseat
capturing all
the innocence
and love
she had in
them,
as the flow
of feelings
and emotions
was wide open
between them
again
for one more
moment
one that lasted
for almost
a full second,
before a soft
green hue
bathed over
her face,
as her car
pulled away
from his
and she was
taken away
from him
once again…
 
     Tom Allen…11-25-2018…