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     “Her Name”
 
He looked forward
to Monday mornings
his Friday
in the week
as most of
the regulars
coming in for
gas
coffee
and lotto tickets
were just starting
their work week
with those long
Monday faces
the beginning of
their five day
eternity
till they can
take their life
back
off of hold
and live it
again,
but the biggest
reason
he looked forward
to Mondays was
a five foot
ten inch tall
fair skinned girl
with short
raven black hair
which gave her
diamond blue eyes
a piercing effect
when they peered
out
from underneath
it,
of course
that was only
when she wasn’t
wearing her sunglasses
Ray-Bans
with the classic
wayfarer frames
which he almost
preferred over
that cold blue
steel stare
of hers
which could be
paralyzing
when dialed up
to full power,
a stare which
he encountered
for the first
time
when she came
in
for the first
time
and asked for
cigarettes
Marlboro Lights 100’s
in the box
which struck him
as odd
he was twenty-one
and most people
his age
just said Marlboro
100’s Gold pack
and she was
a year or two
younger than him,
but it was
when he paused
as if he was
contemplating
asking her for
her I.D.
something you are
suppose to do
if the person
looks anywhere
close to eighteen
that she turned
that stare
towards him,
after a beat
or two
of being caught
up
in her frozen
glare
and him
not saying a
word
she decided for
him
pushing his indecisive
mind
to the side
she takes a
step towards him
hopping up
on top of
the counter
on her butt
flipping her legs
over to the
other side
of the counter,
he instinctively
took a step
backwards
pinning himself
against the wall
behind him
as she leans
forward
reaching over his
shoulders
a knee on
each side of
him
she pulls her
pack of cigarettes
from the rack
he’s backed up
against,
then she pauses
and looks deep
into his eyes
her face
only a foot
away from his
each beat of
his heart
is a life
time
all its own,
then she
swings her legs
back over the
counter
pops back down
leaves two twenty
dollar bills
face up on
the counter
and walks towards
the door
and in a
dead pan voice
she says
“put the change
on pump number
three”
without turning
around,
he steadies himself
regaining his footing
in the present
just as she
was getting to
the door
and all that
he could get
out of his
mouth
was to say
“which pump was
that?”
in a somewhat
squeaky voice
to which she
answers by
holding up three
fingers
above her head
with her left
hand
as her right
hand
held the now
open pack of
cigarettes
up to her
mouth
pulling one out
with her lips
as she kicks
open the door
with her boot
and starts to
light it before
she even gets
through the door,
he was on
the verge of
shouting out
“You can’t smoke
while your pumping
gas”
but his mind
quickly ran through
that scenario
and he asked
himself
what are you
going to do
if she says
“Or What”,
that was three
months ago
eleven Mondays
to be exact
and she always
gets the same
thing
one box of
Marlboro Lights 100’s
leaving two twenties
face up
and puts the
change
on pump number
three
always putting
supreme
into her tank
which he had
noticed
on Monday
number two
her car was
nothing special
so he asked
her once
why she paid
more to get
supreme
she looked at
him  
for a moment
like he wouldn’t
understand
or she didn’t
care to explain
her eyes hidden
behind her sunglasses
her stare
cutting right through
him
as she flatly
said
“sometimes,
having five extra
octane
makes all the
difference”
then walked out
a bit cryptic
he thought
but at least
she answered him,
he had asked
her
what her name
was
on Monday
number four
telling her
he liked to
call his regulars
by name
she just stood
there
as he reached
behind his back
and pulled a
pack of
Marlboro Lights 100’s
in the box
off the rack
thinking she was
just waiting for
him to turn
back around
before she told
him her name
making this a
more personal
moment
between the two
of them
causing a big
smile
to take over
his face
while he still
had his back
to her
he did a
little half spin
as he turned
to face her
excess energy
dripping off
an excited mind,
he sat the
pack of
cigarettes
on to the
counter
standing it
right side up
but when his
face
pulled out of
the half spin
and his gaze
went from the
cigarettes
to her eyes
his smile started
to wavier
that personal exchange
between them
he was expecting
was replaced by
her icy blue
stare
her sunglasses
pushed down
her eyes looking
over them
partially hidden
in her
raven
black hair
showing him
a serious face
that melted
what was left
of his smile
right off of
his face
he watched as
she slid the
box of cigarettes
towards herself
the bottom of
the box
never leaving the
counter top
her two twenties
already laid out
face up
before him
she picks up
the box
turns it upside
down
and raps it
hard
three times against
the counter
starts to open
up the pack
and right as
she kicks open
the door
and pulls a
cigarette
out of the
box
with her lips
she says in
a normal voice
“I don’t do
names,
put the change
on pump number
three”
it took more
than a few
beats
to process
all the sharp
edges
of that last
moment
with her
he wanted to
believe
her cold exterior
was just an
act
but on a
day
that was riding
in the mid-80’s
outside
he could swear
he could see
a cloud of
frosty mist
hang in the
air
after she spoke
those words,
he watched her
through the big
tinted glass store
window
staring between a
rack of outdated
beef jerky strips
and a rotating
carousel 
of deep fried
pork products
pump number three
was only thirty
feet away
he knew she
couldn’t see him
through the glass
but even so
right before grabbing
the pump nozzle
she flicks her
lit cigarette
right at him
bouncing it off
the tinted glass
window
with a dull
thud
not more than
a foot off
target
assuming she was
aiming for his
face
which he felt
was a pretty
fair assumption,
he had made
up his mind
as he came
out from behind
the counter
after she drove
off
to grind her
still lit cigarette
into the heavily
chemically stained
asphalt apron
around the gas
pumps
he was going
to make her
pay
for her rudeness
and he was
going to use
her bad habits
to do it,
to say she
found her way
into his thoughts
during the other
six days of
the week
would be an
understatement
he had plenty
of free time
at work
after the morning
rush
and while he
found all her
little peculiarities
interesting and
cute
it was the
smooth lines
of her body
and shocking blue
of her eyes
that had reserve
seating
in the front
row
of his conscious
mind
ever since that
first Monday morning
when she swung
her legs over
the counter
straddling him
on each side
with her exposed
knees
leaning over him
as she grabbed
the cigarettes,
that was by
far
the sexiest thing
that has ever
happened
to him
in his life
but for some
reason
it was the
perfectly rounded
bend of her
knees
sticking out from
the jagged tears
in her jeans
that he thinks
of most
when he takes
that memory out
and plays with
it,
he spent the
next six days
working on a
plan
when her knees
weren’t poking
their way
into his thoughts
it was a simple
plan
he was going
to get her
name
take something
from her
she didn’t want
to give him,
he had made
a list of
everything he knew
about her
and came up
with one common
trait
he thought
he could exploit,
the gas station
he worked at
was on a
heavily used off
ramp
the only gas
station
for five miles
in either direction
on the freeway
fifteen more minutes
from this one
not very far
away
but more time
than most commuters
have to spare
in their hectic
Monday morning drive,
he was ready
when she walked
through the door
no one else was
in the store
as he called
out to her
“Happy Monday,
what did you
say your name
was?”
her head was
down
when she came
in
not in the
mood
for eye contact
certainly not talking
her sunglasses on
she raised her
head
when she got
to the counter
”didn’t we already
cover this”
she said
“oh,
that’s right
you don’t do
names”
he said
trying to hide
the start of
a smile
she could sense
something was up
“Marlboro Lights 100’s
in the box”
she said
as she started
to pull two
twenties
from the back
right pocket
of her jeans
she starts to
place them
face up
on the counter
when her eye
catches the empty
rack of cigarettes
behind him
“were you guys
robbed
or something”
she asks
in a voice
not quite as
firm
as before
“Oh,
you mean the
cigarettes
I have them,
their just locked
in a drawer”
he said
having a much
harder time
trying to hide
his smile
“well ok then
I’ll take a
pack”
she says
unsure of his
angle
“Sure,
I just need
to see some
I.D. first”
“What are you
kidding me,
I have been
buying my cigarettes
here
for months now”
her voice now
in a very
evidently
pissed off tone
“yes,
yes you have
and the very
thought
that I might
be selling cancer
causing products
to a minor
has been slowly
eating away at
me,
you know
kind of like
cancer does”
he knew she
was well over
eighteen
after eleven Mondays
of interactions
with her
she had all
those subtle
and not so
subtle changes
you acquire
after high school,
her head turned
slightly
even with her
sunglasses on
he could tell
she had looked
at the big
clock
behind him
probably trying to
figure out if
she can just
stomp out of
here
and head to
the next gas
station
and still make
it to work
on time,
if there is
one thing he
knows about
smokers
that is if they
expect to have
a cigarette
at a certain
time
they don’t like
to go a minute
past it,
“Look”
she says
pushing down her
sunglasses
and trying to
charm him
with those eyes
of hers
which are now
quite inviting
a peaceful
sky blue in
color
with promises
of possibilities
floating around
in them,
“I forgot my
drivers license today
I promise to
bring it next
Monday,
yea I know
I shouldn’t be
driving without
it,
but what’s a
girl to do”
her voice in
a friendly tone
that he had
never
heard her use
before
between that
her eyes
and the quick
flash of a
smile
she tossed to
him
at the end
of her act
he almost unlocked
the drawer
and gave her
a whole carton
of cigarettes
for free
but he knew
she was playing
him
but even so
it was very
hard
to press on,
he takes a
second
to enjoy her
sweetness
before giving her
the bad news
“I’m so sorry,
but I can’t
sell to you
without a valid
I.D.”
“Ok, Here!”
she slams her
drivers license
down
onto the counter
next to her
two twenties
lying face up
he dragged the
I.D.
towards him
picks it up
and looks at
it
then at her
then back at
the I.D.
“you look good
for twenty”
he says
to her
as he pushes
the I.D. back
to her
and then he
pulls out a
pack of
Marlboro Lights 100’s
in the box
her sunglasses
back in place
but he can
feel her stare
burning a hole
through him
she grabs the
pack
and turns to
leave
but before she
can take a
step
he says
“don’t you want
your change”
this wasn’t part
of the original
plan
when he began
it just fell
into place for
him
and he couldn’t
resist
she turned back
around
“Really”
she says
he makes no
reply
“Put the change
on pump number
three”
“pump number three
it is”
he says
she starts to
march to the
door
while opening her
pack of cigarettes
she puts the
pack to her
mouth
and starts to
pull out a
cigarette
with her lips
when he calls
out to her
“OH,
and Annabelle”
saying her name
in a singsong
voice
“No Smoking Near
the Pumps,
don’t make me
turn them off”
she stops cold
but doesn’t turn
around
her lips release
the cigarette
and it slides
back into the
box
then she slowly
walks out the
door
to her car
puts the nozzle
of the pump
into her car
and clicks the
latch
so it will
pump
without her help
keeping her hands
free,
he stands there
watching her
through the dark
tint of the
glass
she’s just standing
there
next to the
pump
arms folded
across her chest
staring right at
him
or at least
where she thinks
he is,
she pulls the
window washing
squeegee
out of a
bucket
of soapy water
and starts to
clean her back
window
halfway through
cleaning it
the pump clicks
off
and at the
sound of that
click
she swings her
body around
in one fluid
movement
and chucks the
wooden handled
squeegee
as hard as
she can
with all her
weight behind it
at the large
tinted window
hitting right where
his face was
with a loud
“SPLAT”
and then falling
harmlessly
to the ground,
he didn’t even
flinch
as he watches
her
get into her
car
put the pack
of cigarettes
up to her
mouth
and pull a
cigarette out
with her lips
before driving
away
then saying in
a loud proud
voice
to himself
“Next week
I’m going to
ask her
what’s up
with the five
extra octane”
nodding his head
in approval
still watching her
car drive away
till one of
the five people
that have been
waiting in line
all this time
says
“Hey Buddy,
you talking to
us
or what?”…
 
     Tom Allen…12-09-2018…