I feel like my mind is trying to kill me and one day it will win!
I am so sick and tired of this tug of war I am in!
My mind sends me messages - intrusive thoughts in my head! Jump in front of a train; stick the knife in; no one loves you; you will be better off dead!!
It’s exhausting to feel the cloud of depression, and the feelings of doom in my head!
It’s exhausting to have intrusive thoughts racing around in my head... and genuinely feeling I would be better off dead!
I fight my thoughts and emotions on a daily basis you see,
Emotional battles that no one else ever sees!
Each day is monotonous. I inhale in and out! Wake, eat, sleep, repeat!
Perhaps there is faulty wiring that’s causing a dysfunction in my brain?
I want to rip it out and take away my pain!
Year after year poems of misery and strife, this is the miserable and pathetic story that makes up my life!
Why should anyone else care! I feel insignificant you see!
Existing but not living.. drowning in misery!
Why fight? Who am I fighting for?
How much longer can these feelings endure?
This has been going on for years, the intrusive thoughts, and the river of tears!
My mind is on a mission to kill me you see! I can feel it getting stronger almost daily!
When the time comes I will have put up a good fight, as I head down the tunnel and towards the light!
Written by © Wendy Roberts 23-12-2018