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“Reckless”
 
He had been
warned
not to be
reckless with his
life
live with some
purpose
framed within a
set of good
ideals,
but he had
a bad habit
of carelessly
tossing his life
into oncoming
traffic
using it as
nothing more
than
a disposable prop
trying to get
noticed
by her
or them
wanting some kind
of vindication
a reason
for hanging around
in this messed
up
life of his
unable to come
up
with a good
enough reason
on his own,
he doesn’t miss
a turn
at any of the
night’s
drinking games
throwing out
party quotes
like
“what doesn’t
kill you,
makes you stronger”
before shoving
six inches of
clear plastic tubing
down his throat
expediting the
delivery
of his next
two beers,
he hears the
casting call
go out from
the crowd
for someone stupidly
drunk
to jump from
the third floor
balcony
into the pool
below
so with a
big smile
on his face
he cuts to
the front of
the line for
stupidity
not even a
single thought
about the cement
slab
thirty feet below
him
more concerned
with his efforts
at shot gunning
a beer
in mid flight
and if the
eyes
of the party
are watching him,
dumb luck
gets most of
him
into the water
the beer
and the hand
holding it
were the only
causalities
of his stunts
so far tonight,
but a couple
more shots of
“151”
and he won’t
be feeling a
thing
keeping his mind
balanced between
too numb
to give a
F---
and that feeling
he gets like
he is winning
against that social
stigma
he is always
trying to fight,
he totals up
his prizes
a handful of
smiles
from the ladies
and some shouts
of
“You Da Man”
from the guys
but his grasp
on their attention
is fleeting
before his hand
starts to swell
around his
freshly broken         
wrist
the crowd is
following
some other
desperate drunk
trying to drink
a full red
Solo Cup
of grain alcohol
mixed with
Hawaiian Punch
while upside down,
fulfilled for only
a moment
with a sense
of purpose
and pride
before falling back
into his empty
self
making him feel
like he is
even farther away
from fitting in
with the crowd
currently on
display,
fearless
but forgotten
completely alone
on the inside
while sitting in
the middle of
a maximum
occupancy party,
leaning on his
beer
he looks over
the new party
faces
as he waits
for
his call
to come out
and entertain…
 
     Tom Allen…01-21-2019…