At war with yourself

How is it possible to feel so much,
Every raindrop that falls leaves a silent touch,
Yet how can you feel so numb at the same time?
When you feel a carousel going on in your mind.

Built up with such anger, frustration and hurt,
Like a vest of emotions you wear under your shirt,
You feel it beating and sure people can see,
But nobody can feel it, nobody like me

Your words won't come out, it's like they are broken,
Screaming for help but the words can't be spoken,
So you crack on with your day hoping you will pull through,
After all, nobody expects anything but strength from you.

Your heart is so heavy, burdened with a heavy sorrow
Your shoulders they carry the weight of today and tomorrow,
With a knot in your stomach and tears in your eyes,
But lie to people and insist that you're fine

At that point you wish they would look inside,
To help you search for the part of you which you feel has died,
Instead they move on and so you stay lonely,
You ask for 1 thing, to be heard, that is your only.

When nobody hears it, because nobody listens,
The battle inside becomes a demolition,
How long can you hold it? You wonder in fear,
You don't know when, but you feel the end coming near.

And it's ok because at least you can feel,
The numbness subsides and feelings become real,
Your head is a war zone, hidden with a convincing smile,
But the beating drums will only stay silent for a little while.

Vicki Wroe, 28 (c)

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At war with yourself

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