Tattoos in Mayberry

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Children, what good are they?
They eat free at restaurants
or pay a pittance according to their age or weight 
Children don't work for a living.
So, they rarely,if ever pick up the check.
Children are allowed to ride
the bus or commuter trains for free.
They  don't come at you one at a time.
Instead, they blitz you in,bunches.
In fun packs of 30.
invading our public spaces like storm troopers.
endlessly chattering
on about what's only interesting
 to them.
When a child loses a tooth, another one magically
grows back in its place.
They don't have to worry,
since they have a spare set.
When I  chip or break a tooth chewing 
on hard candy like a jaw breaker,
or  peanut brittle
I, must lay down hard cash to a dentist..
And,speaking of candy,
children have commandered Halloween.
Once, an ancient and sacred Druid tradition
paying tribute to their dead
Children haven't earned a holiday in their honor
so they've stolen one.
Children get away with being disruptive.
Screeching and howling like monkeys.
At least, monkeys live away from us
in the trees.
To make matters worse
, children smell like stale candy
and barbecue sauce,
their scent trail barely tolerable.
I especially loathe those special children
sporting Nike Air Jordan shoes
or  designer Hathaway button down shirts.
Nothing is more tragic
than a four year old in a three piece suit.
'Smile for the camera Skippy,'
I can scarcely imagine the abject humiliation following
these kids down the road.
Stop dressing children up 
as successful adults.
Because, its a lie, and everyone knows it.
Is it any wonder 
these same children often get mercilessly picked on
by their peers.
Children haven't yet achieved anything special except being born
and annoying strangers.
They should  be issued standard fare.
Keds, simple, one color tee shirts,
pullovers, overalls  or blue jeans.
Children chatter on about nothing
in the hope someone will notice
how wise they are beyond their years .
But, they aren't wise.
They are ridiculous, crumb crunching 
Novice's who haven't yet lost a job 
driven a car,
paid rent,
balanced a check book,
or had their hearts broken.

I've heard it said,
children should be seen but not heard.
But, I don't even want to see children.
Let them congregate on barges,
away from the rest of us.
where they can freely act out and 
giggle mindlessly to their hearts content.

The real world is harsh. 
Life can be unforgiving,, unkind,, brutally cruel,, even grotesque.
As adults, we shouldn't have to adjust our behavior 
to a child's fragile sensorium. 
If anything, shouldn't it be the other way around?.
So, when  I see some overly enthusiastic, twenty something 
walking toward me holding a clipboard,,
smiling and waving
asking me to do my part to save the children,
I ask them, why would I care to do that?
I hate children.
When kids have some real world experience  
with the grit of living,
cutting their teeth through personal sacrifice,
 accomplishing significant
community actions, 
beneficial to us all
then, I'm fine with them
returning to live amongst the rest of us.. 

 Buddy Bee Anthony

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