melissaahowells

442,983 poems read

Cat's Speach

if I were a cat
I'd have magical powers
I'd change my color
or my spots or stripes
or simply disappear
communicate with the flick
of my ears
the same way that humans use words

twitch my nose and whiskers
to conjure up a meal
live as long as I desired
forgetting to honor
that nine year contract deal

never be cold or hungry
or homeless
or despised
because I was entirely
self-supported
through many lucrative advertising
deals
...giving out my endorsement
to what cats really want
like canned shrimp and sardines
and blue velvet electric blankets
not the run-of-the-mill-Morris-The-Cat
type spiels

fleas and ticks would be outlawed
vets would offer tropical vacation packages
to Hemingway's Cat Haven and instead
they'd sharpen my claws
and shots would be verbotten
and medicine delivered in cat treats

there'd be no breeding
except at written request
and of my choicest partners
those I liked best....

humans would be given privileges
as long as they behaved
and those who did not
would know treatment of
the lock-and-key
their foremost purpose
always pleasing me
stale waterbowls
and boring kibble food
are things which put me in a foul mood
and so I'd order meals of
fowl and fish and t-bone steak
the highest grade catnip would be
my shake n'bake

if cats ruled the world
there would be no cat slaves
no needles, no testing,
no cruel vivisectionist blade

our worth would not be
squandered
our worth would be implicitly
understood
we'd be equal to humans
sainthood and "angelitude"
would be our just rewards
for being INHERENTLY good

this cat speaks
not purrs
and will be understood
I'm a feline of impeccable character
demanding the rights that
any cat would..

thank you for your ears
I will not remind you once again.

3:39pm pst/time date stamped 8/31/2021 re-edited for clarity 11/3/2021 7pm pst
legal copyright for this poem in progress
and also for this writer
Melissa A Howells and also for this legally copyrighted site title
Meloo Straight From Her Tilt-a-World


will return to make additions and edits later. thank you.