always wanted to be
different
a dancer
daring
sinuous
vivacious
temptation
on a stick
didn't know how to be
in my body
strong
newly released
from its cocoon
of extra skin
Mother
didn't like my competition
sorority girls are coquettes
but behave
have friends in herds
wear labels
don't step outside the lines
I was no girl
who wanted to be a sister
didn't want girls as friends
preferred sports
tomboys
and men who were thoughtful
funny and could be well-spoken
and either banter or debate
not be vacuous nor pliant
I wanted to be defiant
and brave
not a slave
to my female body
to use it
to express who was living in
my insides
carefree spirits
do get stepped on
or sometimes are caged
is it better to be predictable
not good enough for the stage
behave and don't flee your box
this is hard to write
and most likely
will get misunderstood
by many
I will write it anyway
in anyway I can
I wanted to be someone
different
but I felt the bite
of the reins
disdain
the foul briny stench of it
what happens when
later on in life you chafe
deliberately ignore
all those who sought to deplore you
in your past
take them to the task
its never too late
work in progress
written frankly directly to the page
legal copyright for this poem 5:16pm PST 7/13/19 time/date stamped
and also for this writer/poet Melissa A. Howells
and also for this legally copyrighted site title
Meloo Straight From Her Tilt-a-World