Beautiful Disaster

Middle Child

When they're together
It's like I don't exist
Invitations never sent my way
Because they “know” I wouldn't enjoy it
They gang up on me
Tag team
And attack
There is no refuge
From their wrath
It's only funny
Coming from them
Their faults diminish
As mine expand
I don't belong
I never have
And perhaps I never will
They're so oblivious
To the pain they cause
Or they know
And they just don't care
Little brother may not understand
But I know big brother does
And yet they pounce
They condemn my flaws
But do nothing to help me change.
I love them
But I hate them.
For how they make me feel
Insignificant and worthless
If they only knew how much I cared
Or how lonely I feel
Then maybe they would change
But probably not.
I worry about little
Because I know the influence
Big has over him.
When Big is home,
Little becomes his whipping boy
Although he fails to see
The transformation.
Does Little look at me
The way he looks at Big
Am I role model?
Does he want to be like me?
Probably not.
They're the populars
And I'm the nerd
They're the rebels
And I'm the “good kid”
And I can't imagine that changing
Any time soon
Although I hope it does
Because if Little follows
Big's tracks much longer
He is going to end up
Somewhere he may
Never be able to escape from.

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