melissaahowells - I Wish God Had Better Magic

I know some woman
lucky if she eats every day
she claims she likes things
that way
truth is
she doesn't
she's have anyone to care
and her mind is absent like
nobody's home
I fear
I'm beginning to know
its not ever going to get better
for her
its so hard to know this

I know a man
who once believed he had a family
but it was only a story he told himself
for one summer
he lived outside in his truck
we was stuck there with no air conditioning
and no radio
he read the same books over
and he ate when his sister fed him though...
he got so thin you could see his bones

in November after 17 days without eating
he trudged through an icy blizzard and
spent two weeks in a hospital bed
then booted him out afterwards to a shelter
where bugs shared the bed
and they staff burnt all the food
we invited him to stay with us
for a short while
he's settled into a small room
he can't remember today
he lives in yesterday
but doesn't have a tomorrow

he's anxious as a lost cat
living in a one room box
he's my brother
but not the one I remember
and grew up with any more
I fear
its not ever gonna get better
for him
like the curtains decided to close
and night decided to stay
all the time

I see a cat
every once in awhile
she belonged to someone once
had the choice of many kinds of food and
rarely ate the same kind twice

now her long furry is tangled
and she probably eats mice
she hisses when I come near
once she was more sweetness
now she is mostly bewildered and
full of anger and fear
she was a cat I took care of
she was the cat of a friend
a friend that left her behind
that friend might be dead
I fear
I wish I didn't know
about this sort of unkindness
nor be witness to abandonment
I wish I didn't feel so much

we leave a open tin of food occasionally
we're content to see it finished
it temporarily alters our mood
but that's not saying much

there are people
there are critters
that need looking after
that need tender loving care and tending to
yet these are the ones
who don't get what they need

but I wonder and I fret
and I fear
and I try to wish
that God had better magic
and He could fix things and people
that get broken
so I wouldn't have to care
and think
so much

some days I feel the brokenness too
do you think God ever feels
broken
too?

Legal Copyright for this poem 6:01PM PST
time date stamped 8/4/2019 and also for this poet
Melissa A Howells and also for this legally copyrighted
site title MELOO STRAIGHT FROM HER TILT-A-WORLD

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