Closer 

I thought my pain was magnified by your absence
When it fact it was your presence
And the very thought that you are still
Much closer
Than I ever noticed.
But I don't grieve you,
I grieve the thought of you,
The loss of you
Everything I could have been with you.

Drenched in solidarity
On my knees, aching to be free
Of you and your existence
Unending repentance.
Forgiveness comes in small doses
Though you are gone, I am the closest to you
I have ever been.