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Winter's Been Too Long.... 4/18/2023 (LONGING)

The Dreaming Life ( A Series Of Dream Vignettes)

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The Dreaming Life ( A Series Of Dream Vignettes)


***********

In sleep
I shed my bruised skin
like a snake

I become someone else
I am not
in the waking world
a  shimmering chimera
and a chameleon

Scenarios happen
that usually would not happen

Often I'm lost
wandering and searching
there are vicious storms that form around me
out of nowhere
side-winding tornados follow me home

At inconvenient times
my clothes fall off and
I find I'm naked or
unusually clumsy in trying to
put them back on

I fly without wings,
observe all that's below me
looking out and seeing for miles
with no fear
forgetting I do not like heights

Once,
after I sneezed,
all of my teeth emptied into my hand--
I could not put them back into my mouth

The dead speak with me
in various stages of decomposition
they like to whisper deep withing the cochlea of my ear
so that their words malinger
they poke me from behind
I tell them to leave me alone
but they are poor listeners

Ghuey meows and comforts us
climbs into our night-bed
and gazes up knowingly into the endless blanket of stars
his golden eyes bore through me to the back of infinity
I cannot stop looking at Him

My Boyfriend finds other women
more fascinating than me
even the ugly and strange but
I become a literal stranger who
watches from a distance--
until he notices my silent tears
and runs to me to envelop me
in his wide chest--
how grateful I am for being so wrong

My middle Brother tries to speak
but I fail to understand
he turns and is transformed into a winged white buffalo
then flys away into a gathering storm
the youngest Brother stands glaring at us
in the distance
his compound bow and arrow raised to the sky

My Mother and Father tell me
there's no such thing as families
that I am sadly mistaken
yet they still love me
they share a deep kiss then
dissolve into dust

Karin, a childhood friend tells me
It was a stupid thing I did back then
huffing...
I couldn't breathe and then I remembered
I wouldn't see you again
Please forgive me
she is still thirteen

My puppy Bootsie tells me
its alright
please, don't worry or cry anymore
I feel no more pain or loneliness--
you are not the one who gave me away
to people who did not want me--
your Mother did...
next to him sits Muffin, my first cat,
nodding,
who was put in the garage for the farmer
to pick up while I was at school

Holding hands we walk into a drowning house
there is treasure everywhere afloat
we gather all of them
but they begin to float away once more--
then we float on a hand-made raft of tied furniture
not far behind them

We're sitting on a steep hill
near the St Croix River
my family's river cabin is behind us--
I look at you and say
"I've finally brought you here
are you happy?"
You respond with a sigh..
"Oh yes, most definitely..."
We smile like the river below us
belonging to this place, finally

Remember your dreams
I've been told,
especially
those that repeat
for they have messages

The dreaming life is the real one--
says Grandfather...
the waking life
is merely a dream

I wake
recall how he was wearing red corduroys
in sweltering July heat
his back turned to me
on our rocky beach
I knew he was speaking to me
though I could not see his lips moving
and then he waded into the river
and disappeared

"Good-bye Grandfather"
I said,
knowing I would never see him again
in life
nor in dreams

In dreams
all things we don't dare feel or say or wish
to others
are spoken

This should be life.

***********

DIRECTLY TO THE PAGE/2:09PM PST AUGUST 25 2019
LEGAL COPYRIGHT FOR THIS POEM AND ALSO FOR THIS WRITER
MELISSA A. HOWELLS AND ALSO FOR THIS
LEGALLY COPYRIGHTED SITE TITLE
MELOO STRAIGHT FROM HER TILT-A-WORLD





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