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In sleep I shed my bruised skin like a snake I become someone else I am not in the waking world a shimmering chimera and a chameleon Scenarios happen that usually would not happen Often I'm lost wandering and searching there are vicious storms that form around me out of nowhere side-winding tornados follow me home At inconvenient times my clothes fall off and I find I'm naked or unusually clumsy in trying to put them back on I fly without wings, observe all that's below me looking out and seeing for miles with no fear forgetting I do not like heights Once, after I sneezed, all of my teeth emptied into my hand-- I could not put them back into my mouth The dead speak with me in various stages of decomposition they like to whisper deep withing the cochlea of my ear so that their words malinger they poke me from behind I tell them to leave me alone but they are poor listeners Ghuey meows and comforts us climbs into our night-bed and gazes up knowingly into the endless blanket of stars his golden eyes bore through me to the back of infinity I cannot stop looking at Him My Boyfriend finds other women more fascinating than me even the ugly and strange but I become a literal stranger who watches from a distance-- until he notices my silent tears and runs to me to envelop me in his wide chest-- how grateful I am for being so wrong My middle Brother tries to speak but I fail to understand he turns and is transformed into a winged white buffalo then flys away into a gathering storm the youngest Brother stands glaring at us in the distance his compound bow and arrow raised to the sky My Mother and Father tell me there's no such thing as families that I am sadly mistaken yet they still love me they share a deep kiss then dissolve into dust Karin, a childhood friend tells me It was a stupid thing I did back then huffing... I couldn't breathe and then I remembered I wouldn't see you again Please forgive me she is still thirteen My puppy Bootsie tells me its alright please, don't worry or cry anymore I feel no more pain or loneliness-- you are not the one who gave me away to people who did not want me-- your Mother did... next to him sits Muffin, my first cat, nodding, who was put in the garage for the farmer to pick up while I was at school Holding hands we walk into a drowning house there is treasure everywhere afloat we gather all of them but they begin to float away once more-- then we float on a hand-made raft of tied furniture not far behind them We're sitting on a steep hill near the St Croix River my family's river cabin is behind us-- I look at you and say "I've finally brought you here are you happy?" You respond with a sigh.. "Oh yes, most definitely..." We smile like the river below us belonging to this place, finally Remember your dreams I've been told, especially those that repeat for they have messages The dreaming life is the real one-- says Grandfather... the waking life is merely a dream I wake recall how he was wearing red corduroys in sweltering July heat his back turned to me on our rocky beach I knew he was speaking to me though I could not see his lips moving and then he waded into the river and disappeared "Good-bye Grandfather" I said, knowing I would never see him again in life nor in dreams In dreams all things we don't dare feel or say or wish to others are spoken This should be life. *********** DIRECTLY TO THE PAGE/2:09PM PST AUGUST 25 2019 LEGAL COPYRIGHT FOR THIS POEM AND ALSO FOR THIS WRITER MELISSA A. HOWELLS AND ALSO FOR THIS LEGALLY COPYRIGHTED SITE TITLE MELOO STRAIGHT FROM HER TILT-A-WORLD Vote for this poem |
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