melissaahowells - You Got Your Lilly Back

I was told by someone
someone
whom we both knew
that you were gone
flat dead
that truth Jack
good as engraved and true

but it wasn't true

yesterday
it was almost as if you spontaneously
resurrected
I learned
I found out
the truth

they told me a whopper of a lie
the sold their story well
it wrung a tear or two from my eyes
I wish I would look into your face
to let you know I know what's true

but yesterday I found out
you'd married the Lilly-girl
the one who you dated not more than a month after
you drove away in your Smokey car
while I lay on my bed
sinking into the ground

I had just gone to your Brother's wedding
you rented a motel room so that we could
talk together about our plans until dawn
early at seven the next morning
you became a disappearing dot on the horizon and
you were gone

yesterday
I read Lilly's so much like me
That you taught her how to ballroom dance
and she graduated in High Fashion
while you're busy negotiating high finance

I really makes me wonder
why I didn't ask you why you had to go
to a fancy mucky-muck west coast college
why you hadn't talked about this with me
and so...

our mutual friend also told me
that you and second-hand Lilly
haven't always had the best of times
and that you've got a bad ticker
just like your Dad
in spite of that you have a son

so, why did I spend so much time
thinking I was the one had to make ammends
that I had caused you so much tsuris

then I think back on
that night the stranger hurt me
when I called long-distance to talk to you
your angry roommate answered and said
he's on a dancing date with Lilly,
good-bye,
he won't be coming home

In the echo of that clicking phone
my worst fears doubled and came to pass
I'd believed you (when you said)
the distance between us won't matter
the distance was now a crevasse

and when it didn't work
Lilly that cold Spring
you came rushing home
to see if I'd have you back

I couldn't forgive you
your armor was tarnished and flawed
I was still licking gingerly
at my deeply wounded pride
thinking I'd done everything wrong

but yesterday
finally I understand
it wasn't me who ought to have felt so bad
you got your Lilly back for sure
there's nothing colder than the facts

I know for certain now
you lied
all along.

LEGAL COPYRIGHT for this poem 12:33AM PST September 7 2019 time/date stamped
and also for this poet Melissa A. Howells
and also for this legally copyrighted site title-
Meloo Straight From Her Tilt-a-World

Lilly is not her real name...just the literal meaning of her real name.