Do you remember those days
When most of us smoked fags
And veggies, fruit, and taties
Were sold in paper bags.
Now everything's in plastic,
That odious tough clear skin,
Since the packaging people
Crept evermore stealthily in
And they've progressed until.
No matter how hard you try,
A Plastic skin encases
Nearly everything you buy.
And It's hard and its tough
Adding complexity to life
Can't very easily be opened
Without scissors or a knife.
Its virtually indestructible,
Can't be recycled with ease,
And it's killing our wildlife
And corrupting our seas.
Worst of all these days ,
They've extended their rackets
No bottled vinegar in cafes now,
It's all sealed in plastic packets.
With supposed perforations
To show you just where
To get at the contents but
They very seldom tear.
So I'm just sitting there
Seething with frustration
At this seeming insoluble
Lack of Condiment situation.
Fish and taties need vinegar
And from a bottle is best.
We shouldn't have to struggle
With that near impossible test.
So, we sit there and mutter
Words obscene and rude
As we try to add condiments
To our fast cooling food.
Forget Meghan and Harry
Or other secondary causes
Let's march on the street for
Bottled vinegar and sauces.
I know it's not `British
To be so very drastic
But Rule Britannia I say
And Bugger all that plastic.
