At Dodgy Dave's Diner,
Specialising in Pork Pies
Where every bite is Kosher
If you learn to close your eyes,
Grinning Gideon serves tea,
Manning the tea urn
Who while he awaits its boiling
Demonstrates the U turn.
At Dodgy Dave's Diner
Your status decides your price:
For the rich and upper classes
The service is so very nice.
Your supper is subsidised
By those too poor to pay
For from those who have not
Shall more be taken away.
No such thing as deserving poor
Just a bunch of idle twits
Who don't understand the Tory way
Of living off your wits.
They just need lessons in reality
Frugality and besides
Just a little stimulus
To get off their backsides.
At Dodgy Dave's Diner
Every Kosher Pork pie
Is served with its sauce
Of unseasoned lies
Where the deserving rich
Can comfortably sit and jeer
At unwashed peasantry
Too poor to come in here.
They sit and count their money
And prove they've not been lax
By entertaining their adviser who
Helped them avoid their tax,
And they get their cup of tea
After waiting for their turn
Served by grinning Gideon
Who faithfully mans the Urn.
