melissaahowells - morning thoughts (begin again)

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what do you think
when you first open your eyes

what is your first thought
who is your first thought

sometimes when I wake
I am in my body
and how it feels
or how it doesn't feel
like my own body
much
anymore

in the past my first thoughts
were of certain people
my partner and our cats
or family member who've died
and the friends who've moved away
sometimes
the ones who got away
or moved on

how is it
why is it
as life gets longer
people and places
and so much of what and who we love
disappear
leave

and sometimes
things like
fear--which is really an emotion
set up house
and become for some
the new shape of life
a sort of parasitic Cryptid

I think that
no one is meant to be alone
I can be alone with my thoughts
but sometimes its is better to speak them

the best writers in the world
the ones I've admired
read their words aloud to test them
for their magic
their truth
and their conviction

there is great truth in fiction
although its not required
and how,
there's great mourning
in morning thoughts

so when I see someone
sitting too quietly alone
[pretending at making friends with the silence
and the distance
I like to
speak to them

saying hello
is a great opener--
let them know for that moment
that they are known
and more than worth
good tidings

these words
our words can be our sacred interactions
little words can have big impact
and heal
open up and mend--
so,
mean what you intend

since I've rethought this--
I am quieter
now
when I wake

I think my morning thoughts
then mostly stow them away
or put them in a poem
and am mostly gladness-filled for what I have
and have still

this
the person who I am
here is
the person who is asleep
beside me
and look now,
thee is the morning sky outside
trying to bring a little more light
to dispel the shadows within

and so I
begin
again.

LEGAL COPYRIGHT FOR THIS POEM
AND ALSO FOR THIS LEGALLY COPYRIGHTED AUTHOR/POET/WRITER
MELISSA A. HOWELLS AND ALSO FOR THIS LEGALLY COPYRIGHTED AND
REGISTERED SITE TITLE----MELOO STRAIGHT FROM HER TILT-A-WORLD
TIME STAMPED AND DATED 11;54PM 4/20/2020

THIS IS FOR ALL WHO CAME AND LIVED BEFORE ME
WHO ARE IN MY MORNING THOUGHTS
ESPECIALLY OUR PETS
WHO GAVE WITH EVERY MOLECULE OF THEIR BEING
AND WAITED FOR US TO COME HOME
WITH THE PATIENCE OF SAINTS...XOXOXOXOXO

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