I Wonder...

I smile at the thought of what it would be like for you to invade my space...
Leave your scent, making your mark and your presence with such grace.
I wonder if you would welcome me where you rest your head,
Allow me the pleasure of blessing every area going through like a needle and thread.
Removing at sight any sadness and loneliness,
Replacing it with my own radiant sunshine and making your world harmonious.
I wonder how you sleep at night…
On your back maybe even on your side,
Is your bed even comfortable and wide?
Does it wrap itself around you and hug all the things you hold inside?
Is your pillow soft enough to hold the precious jewels that is in your mind,
Or do you put them in a jar next to the bed to unwind…
The many thoughts that you hold but you do not dare to let them show,
For reason untold I simply wish you would let them flow.
Out of reality and into your dreams,
I’ll always meet you there so you can talk to me and tell me what it all means,
I want to be the best friend you needed for so many years.
The question is “ will you let me help you make it all clear?…”
...Clarity and precision would certainly appear.
I wonder…
Would you let me be your “peace”?…
So you can see how much your happiness will increase!
Would you show me how “ God is”?
To you and explain it openly for me…
I wonder how it will all be?
Like the beginning when we first met…
Or somewhere inbetween…
Are we making any progress to meet in the middle so we both can be redeemed?
I have so many questions I am wanting to ask,
But I am not sure if you will open up more and remove the mask?
No pressure, no expectations...not pushing to reveal I know the tasks…
The goals you set for yourself,
I just wish you would include me in everything else,
I am here to help… I find you amazing at the same time complex.
Learning of you through your silence and only able to rely on my intuition to know you at best.
Sometimes I can feel you…
But always wanted to know if you can feel me?
Do you think of me as much as I think of you?
I cannot make you understand what I see or feel,
I pray constantly to God to give me a hint that you are forreal.
All I know is that my soul recognized your soul a long time ago,
If it is for not then my heart is going to explode.
My heart wants to give you a chance,
All the heartache I have had to endure this is my last stance.
Not getting anything of how you feel,
I get little hints from over the wall of steel that you built to conceal,
I patiently wait for another sign that you accept how I feel.
I am scared- as tear falls from my eye,
Day in and day out I wait for you to reply.
A phone call or something…
As a woman it makes me nervous and my pulse constantly thumping.
Am I going to be caught off guard again like before…
I just don't want to be made of fool,
So I meditate to keep my cool.
I wonder in the back of my mind,
Do you long for me in the way I long for you- I always hear you say “ in time”.
“In time” will you claim me and allow me to claim you,
Take care of you…
Heal you…
And even the possibility to love you in the way you desire to be loved.
But I guess I am left to wonder...meditate and pray,
That in time I will be provided with the reassurance I crave.
I am the blessing sent to you to enhance your entire being and even your essence.
I wonder if this will be received in a positive embrace,
...if not then I guess I’ll have to erase….
But I wonder…

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