Oh the stress it's causing my dear wife
Counting the calories in her life.
One of life's greatest surprises,
Calories come in different sizes.
A lovely chockie, round and small
To tickle the taste buds one and all,
Lovely and yummy and very nice,
Has more than dry bread by the slice.
The only way I can understand it at all
Is that some are big and some are small
And it seems to me the smaller they are
The damage they cause is increased by far.
Is it all a plot by the Health food trade
a special factory where calories are made
To be hidden in favoured foods to wait
And Creep surreptitiously on the plate.
Is it EU inspired plot perchance
The way our food is so enhanced.
So come on friends let's take a stand
In the cause of this great land
Increasing weight has changed my mood;
I demand all Calories removed from food.
Increasing unemployment may be the cost
But Balanced by weight the nations lost.
Just think how happier we'd all be
In a world that's calorie free.
Let's get our lives back on track
Soon we'll have our Country back.