The Life Of A Fallin Rose
13,242 poems read
I got something I only dared dream of coming true, time just for me with you. Blind to what I think of you, but kind and good to me your time was an old dream of mine allowed to come true. You have helped me understand so much, explaining and patiently answering my ponders questions an such. In many ways, you are wiser, ever-smarter than I, but you only take me for what you see with your eye. Always assuming you've figured me out, I wish you could understand what I'm really about. To you I've been loyal for much of my life, defending you with absolute trust and no shame, truly believing you'd do the same if need be. Still having total faith and respect, I watched and felt you treat people like a game, we are not the same still, I tried so hard even defending your name. Several times I tried to explain, I needed you to make for me sometime, please just let me feel safe to let me rest and know I'm going to be fine. Yes, you are cute, brilliant, generously kind but you also play mind games, that I'm more than willing to overlook because I believed in you so much. I can't lie I enjoy and long for your touch, relishing the time knowing it would be brief but grateful that for a moment my dream came true. I asked only for a few things and you said yes, and I've always trusted and had faith in your word. I drank in every lesson you took the time to preach, full of doting loyalty, faith, respect, trust, and incredibly passionate lust. I guess it's not your fault you didn't know, for equal friendship and value how much I had treasured our long-standing friendship believing it was so strong. I just knew even though my dream come true would be brief, I could sigh with relief because you gave your word, our friendship would always endure for this I was so sure.
However that's not how the story would go, the outcome I didn't know or see coming. I suppose your mind games were more than cunning because if I had the foresight to see the hidden truth it'd have sent me running long ago. My behavior and thoughts were so erratic and out of character, I just knew you'd be smart enough to notice and ask what is wrong. No, I was never asked and so I never told, being mortally threatened every day by some hidden monster who wanted me dead and on display. I thought of breaking a promise to the police and just telling you so the pent up fear and anxiety could be released, but you we're too busy and consumed with other matters, I didn't want to worry or burden you with anguishing chatter. Then as I'd begun to seek refuge with you feeling my end was near, I noticed your kindness and considerate care for me fell away more and more every day. I even pointed out these little things I never took for granted had changed, but I was ignored no longer did you bother to answer and my faith restored.
Even still left alone with my fear I did everything you ask, trying so hard but unable to hide the terror going on inside knowing for not much longer in this life I would reside. I expected the monster hunting me to win, fiercely I prepared to fight to know all along alone I'd be crushed like tin. Still ever grateful for my dream come true, I was loyal and obedient to you. Even going so far to try to be friends with a snake in your grass, just because you wanted me to. I treated your snake with the same level of diligent kindness and loyalty you knew to expect from me. All along it hissed venomous poison about you and so many others, bragging about editing videos and destroying with flat out lies. I did what you asked and tried to talk to you so many times about how uncomfortable I felt, you just encouraged to continue and pet me like an old piece of felt. So I valiantly defended against the hissing, filled with shame I gave the loyalty undeserved to it for your sake, I do not like nor trust this camouflaged snake in your midst. I wish I could share with you and warn, the snare against you it's been working to manipulate you for a long while, how to do what you ask by being loyal and kind I'm so torn. I don't understand if you are so smart and wise why haven't you already discovered this snake's false guise?
Living in fear knowing my time is drawing near, trying to conceal how petrified I feel. Slapping on a smile as multiple threats and promises my blood will surely spill that night, drinking up so maybe it won't hurt so much while I die. This final night for the sake of you and your lively hood, I drank down my anxiety and tried to accept my fate was waiting outside, maybe it'd be okay because I could always trust you my friend to protect my hide, or maybe I just wouldn't have to be alone when I died. Sent a picture of my car, assured when I go out It will be my end, I got so scared trying to bend up my courage to walk out that door.
I don't know how I'm still alive, for the first time I walked alone outside, abandoned, and alone I ran in to hide. You turned your back to me, terrified I realized you had lied. You said you wouldn't betray nor throw me away, but that's exactly what you've done, too busy to tell me why not even knowing you left me to die on your watch. Yet here I am already forgiving, thankfully still living. I have the honor and live by the family code, but now I know you do not. For my loyalty and never-ending willingness to put you first I was almost shot alone in the lot. Even still to this day although ignored and thrown away, I'd still do anything to help if asked, that's the difference between me and you. I'm not mad just incredibly disappointed and sad that all these years meant nothing, and everything I believed is regrettably untrue. You don't really value or even know me, but now I see straight through you.