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In The Sanctuary Of My Head

The Broken-Winged Birds and People (re-edited 4/5/2323 3:03PM PST) (re-edited 11:14am PST 2/23/2023)

The Hell Of Winter (re-edited 4:27pm PST 3/9/2023)

My Grey Haired Love...La La Lullaby , La La Lullaby My Love

THE HEART IS AN ORGAN ON FIRE



When Mr. Bemish Lost His Last Good Pair of Glasses

Kathy Brown Kathy Brown

Something Not Quite Right About Here (Vortex) re-edited 1/26/2023

THE COOL TILES BENEATH MY FEET REMIND ME

The Way Of The Crow

DO YOU TURN THE LIGHTS SO YOU CAN SLEEP?

The Springtime Shadows Play Games Upon The Wall

CHRONICLER OF DREAMS

YET ANOTHER ANTI-POETRY POEM ( re-edited 11/2/2022)

You Do As You Please 8/17/2005 found poem, readjusted 6/20/22

HERE WE SIT AT OUR TABLE 2/19/2022

Much Better Than This ( A Conversation With The Universe)

The Straight Story (What Happens When The Writer Inserts You Into Her Story)

THE TIDE CALLED LONELINESS

A Girl Always Leaning Forward Looking for A Breeze

Entanglements

Have You Ever... (DECEMBER 4/2021)

Appetites

How I Still Love You

The Smile Which Eludes @

He Says To Me, I Think Too Much (and hence dream too much as well)

When You Learn Who You Really Are And What Is...

Anti-Poem Number Three 8/2/2022 Or, A Poem Your Proper Mother Wouldn't Write

Breathing On My Own

A Girl Is More Than a Beautiful Box re-edited 10:15pm PST 1/31/22

I LOVE YOU ALWAYS ANYWAY AND INSTEAD

Talk To Me In The Dark 7/8/2022

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I'm not like anyone
you might know
there may not have been a mold

its not false pride
nor terminal unique-ness
that I'm infected with

the world is a large place
and I spent the early portion of my life
living under circumstances
beyond my control

children cannot select their parents

I had to embrace my
different-ness to survive
I'd no other choice
persist
or dive down a hole

At eight I began to find
solace in running away
I'd load up my bike
and head to the winding river's edge
south of town

I didn't like night sounds
nor the dark
still it was the preferable
alternative

I chose to leave
when I felt I had no other
choice
otherwise
I knew
I could be obliterated
or maybe
I'd explode

It was better to be lost
afraid in the dark
and in the late morning
to lay exhausted in the
hot noon-day sun
screaming at the clouds
when I wanted to

I was purified
living through my fear--
and knowing without any doubts
I could make it
through almost anything
on my own

lying about being an orphan
was closer to the truth
than fiction
and there was no reason
to rue the lie

today at sixty
I face the same challenges
again I am alone
Any illusion of having my real original family
is long gone

it was a fiction
an impossilbe ideal
like a sitcom on t.v.
I was no longer some little child
who clung to the hope
of being considered
acceptable
enough
to be loved

its odd
isn't it
how sixty can be grown-up
in years
but somehow
not enough time has passed
to drown the past

how it comes back to me
when I close my eyes
in dreams
with the dead
and half-living murmuring into my
shriveled ears
and even now..

in the morning when I wake
I have to vigorously shake the ghosts from
my head
since, to them
I am dead
I am dead

morning can be so cold.



legal copyright for this poem/rant 11:49 PM PST Oct 8 2020 time/date stamped
and also for this legally copyrighted and registered site title
Meloo Straight From Her Tilt-a-World
and also for this Author/Poet Melissa A. Howells






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