I ldidn't regret my service time
For I'd made many a good friend
But I was rather sad at the way
It was brought to an end.
We didn't really get on
The British Army and me.
I only wore the uniform
As they provided it for free.
And they seemed to think
We should all look the same
Once we'd volunteered to
Become a number, not a name,
I was tall and ungainly
Beanpole thin
And somehow I didn't
Ever quite seem, to fit in.
I trice to explain that I was
Quite prepared to fight and die
But as for all the rest of it
I just couldn't understand why
They had things like Parades
Every single day
That just wasted time
And got in the way
Of the work thar i was doing
In the Western World's cause,
Work they said was essential
In that most secret of secret Wars.
They threatened Court Martial
On the grounds of Subversion
Which just seemed to me
To exacerbate the situation.
No we really didn't get in well
The British Army and I
So it was with reluctance
They accepted my goodbye.
After months of threats
And attempts at humiliation
They finally gave in when
I presented my ultimatum
We all shook hands
On my demob day
And I resumed my life
In a civilised civilian way.
I didn't regret my service time
For I'd made many a good friend
But as I explained to the Colonel
In time all things must end.
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