melissaahowells - Only Yesterday (For T.J..)

Only yesterday
I heard your song
as we were driving on the rutted streets
a rugged winter had rendered them so
and I saw winter in many eyes
but especially in those
who walked endlessly
on tired feet

I see you walking in all of them
and in their tired foot falls too
Ii struggle still with finding the moment
of when exactly you went lost
and if you'll ever return back
to you

I asked my partner to circle back
I was so certain that tall figure
was you
he had to slow methodical ways
of adjusting himself
and that mannerism with the swooping hand through the hair
I've often seen you
so nervously do

the song
it continued to play
and it played on like a fervent prayer
that somehow we could return to our old selves
and I could keep you there

its a stairway to my heat
its a stairway into your heart too
its a memory that has become a prayer
that far off night we sat on the porch in summer
with the smell of promise's perfume

I was your sister, you were my brother
past the sting of indifference and
past the sting of any fight
we sat together listening
as that song bloomed in the air
and as it knitted our hearts together
on that perfect July night

the climbing tune, its sweet perfect notes
memorized, cemented into my mind
I felt the closest I'd ever been to you
dear Brother
we shared our thoughts
as two souls would do once in a lifetime
I cling to this memory
as if it were a lifeline

I used to say my prayers
in my head and feel them in my heart
now I've lost the habit
of talking
the night confounds
my heart swims for any shore
sleep is often banished
until later hours

the earth is too much with us
and on days when I have
this sweet sweet song
I listen intently
to its echoing
forgetting and remembering the past
knitted and undone
as I listen to the rain
drenching in its showers.

this poem Only Yesterday is dedicated to my brother T.J.
I've written many poems in honor of him.
The one that is most frequently read here is I SEE YOU>
and the next is about driving up to the top of the world on the
one-way road to Alaska.

Legal copyright for this poem Nine-thirty-five AM PACIFIC STANDARD TIME
FEBRUARY 24, 2021 TIME AND DATE STAMPED
AND ALSO FOR THIS POET MELISSA A. HOWELLS
AND ALSO FOR THIS LEGALLY COPYRIGHTED SITE TITLE
MELOO STRAIGHT FROM HER TILT-A-WORLD.