melissaahowells - It No Longer Surprises Me...

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it no longer surprises me
the length to which others
delude themselves

the world is not
filled with mind-readers
and more often than not
they're preoccupied
with themselves

this is a world tomato-ripe
for psychiatry and for
fixing all that is wrong
and for those whose edges need
rounding
or shaving off

yet
there are not true fixes
but.. there are many walking wounded
including those that every one
notices yet still beligerently
refuses to see

I've seen how
people ignore the worst situations
just so they can have a good day

when I was ten years old
I said to myself
that Christmas
how do I get out of this...
tomorrow is another birthday for me--
I don't know how I can go through
with
another one
living here

outside the world glittered
the snow was pure, plentiful
and falling at five miles per hour
which all good snowflakes actually do

the colored lights along the block
shown with promise
while Brady Bunch festivities
around the neighborhood
brayed on

I'd just returned from a hell-ride
to see the holiday lights with my family
and my Dad had almost skidded the car into
the Red River below the golf course
my Mother had piled us into the car
we'd stopped at the gas station for
my Father's cigarettes and coffee
I wanted to hide under my bed
that doesn't get to happen
when you're the oldest
and the birthday girl

my brothers are now playing
with their hot wheels
my Father's passed out
and my Mother's dressed herself
in layers of protection
to go to bed
glory to the new born king
not here

that was fifty-two years ago
when will I stop remembering
and why is it I'm a beacon
for every one's suffering

the designated listener
the one who understands
when they've done all they can
to keep their head where it is

its not that I don't love them
its this
I have a secret
I've been trying to keep up with the music
and guess at which dance is next
for mostly all of my life

so why is that they can't see
how and what I do
you have to face the music
and name it
or you'll slowly be finished
having no dances
you wanted to do.

LEGAL COPYRIGHT FOR THIS POEM WRITTEN DIRECTLY TO THE PAGE
9:03PM PACIFIC STANDARD TIME AND 3/31/21 TIME AND DATE STAMPED
AND ALSO FOR THIS POET/WRITER MELISSA A. HOWELLS
AND ALSO FOR THIS LEGALLY REGISTERED AND COPYRIGHTED SITE TITLE
MELISSA MELOO STRAIGHT FROM HER TILT-A-WORLD