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Morning Tears

Every day I have awoken without you there,
has increased my anxiety, stoking my fear.

For at that moment I realize, it is not as it seems,
wishing this all was nothing more than bad dreams.

But you are on my mind and I instantly assess,
my life to this point and what will be left.

You are my sunshine, my life's driving force,
without you, confined to a life of remorse.

So then it hits me, and the emotions resurface,
without her, my life I feel has no purpose.

Then my body aches, as I exit the bed,
thinking back to all the things she has said.

Some make me smile, and others make me cry,
and now those are amplified by how I feel inside.

I just want to talk to her, but emotions get in the way,
searching for hope, but not finding it per se.

She said that she misses me, a small smile escapes,
but only briefly, it's the first one in days.

It feels great, but I reel it in quickly,
she can still leave and continue to miss me.

So it doesn't really help me, and she won't say,
whether or not, she plans to stay.

And so I just keep waiting for some small little sign,
that she still loves me & wants to try.

Now short and methodical in her texts and what she says,
I afraid I now have only a few days...

Our time has come, she'll tell me in person,
telling me that it's hard & we'll both be hurting.

But she doesn't know that my pain is deadly,
fatal inside, it will surely kill me.

Not on it's own, but with direct help from it's host,
failure to maintain what matters the most.

I love you so greatly, I don't believe I can live without,
you are the one with whom my entire future was about.

The most important relationship I cared to maintain,
the rest of my life will be just a shame.

For I had at one time, the best in the world,
my epic beauty; Carmen, my love, my girl.


Original Work by: Shawn A.


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Morning Tears