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Is This Really Real?

The world around me continues unaware, unscathed,
but for me time has slowed, greatly lengthening my days.
A step behind everything, it feels like I am moving in slow motion,
a feeling so surreal, am I the only one to notice?
There is no plane of existence where I ever thought we would end,
but as the sun rises, it is another day without you, again.
I wish you would have stayed; I wish we could still talk,
but I understand that is not what you want.
I'll never understand why you walked away,
why you don't think you love me enough for you to stay.
I tell no lies when I say that I still love you madly,
you can clearly see; this is weighing on me so badly.
Slipping in and out of thoughts, touching reality and back,
my mind is racing, heart frail, exposed and starting to crack.
Talking to myself, I ask out loud if this is real,
conversating with myself about these things that I feel.
Saying them out loud just makes it even more true,
the fact that I may be facing the rest of my life without you.
This is a sharp thought, impossible to swallow,
another jagged piece of my own personal denial.
I have a collection, things I don't want to believe,
these things that are in my mind, slowly torturing me.
I wish I could change it, for you I would do anything,
to again feel your love, to see you still wearing the ring.
You mean so much to me, I can never really explain,
how much it hurts now that you have gone away.
Together since 2007, only apart occasionally for a few days,
I miss everything about you, especially your voice and pretty face.
Hearing you say 'Hi baby!', when I came home for the day,
excited me within my heart, in more than one way.
Seeing your beautiful face, you smile, your brown eyes,
enough to distract me, enough to hypnotize.
From the moment I got home, your attention I was after,
asking you about your day and trying to fill you with laughter.
I always tried to be humorous, I loved to hear you laugh,
but the stark reality is, I may never get that back.
I really wish we could talk, and try to work this through,
you know how much I love you, it is absolutely true.
So please don't just decide that this is the end,
continue to think about it, and hopefully we can talk again.
I know you need some space and we both need to work on some things,
but please continue to think about it, I beg of you please.
As you know, a love like ours is truly very rare,
think of everyone you know, who else has a love like we share?
Now add in their problems, issues and drama,
we have none of that, not a single thing in common.
So many things in our life that were absolute bliss,
please think of these things and don't give up on this.
Take the time you need, to really think it through,
while you do, please remember that I will always love you.


Original Work by: Shawn A.


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Is This Really Real?