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Thank You, Random Stranger

Yesterday, I saw a picture of a man standing on the beach with a large sign,
a stranger reaching out to anyone in need, just trying to buy them extra time.
'If you are looking for a sign not to kill yourself today, this is it.'
The moment the words registered, the reaction was immediate.
An eruption of emotions, in part because of the selfless act of this random guy,
but also, due to being shrouded in the darkest time of my life.
I've always had something to look forward to, something that got me excited,
now I just feel empty, there is no fire where my passion once resided.
The only silver linings are the memories I hold in my heart,
but even those are so painful right now, they rip me apart.
I guess I did not realize the scope of my misery,
until this random picture on the internet, really affected me.
Tears welling up in my eyes before the sentence was read fully through,
utterly distraught by the thought of no future for me and you.
This means no future for us, but especially no future for me,
the only future I ever wanted, one that I will now never see.
What is a man without purpose, when he has no one to provide for,
no one to come home to, no companion in life anymore?
A meaningless existence? Maybe. Feeling worthless? Totally.
I try to think of how anyone benefits from me being around,
but nothing comes to mind; no real answers can be found.
No, at this point, I really struggle to find a reason to stay,
but the thought of disappointing loved ones keeps me here today.
As much as I feel like my useful time here has been depleted,
that choice would only show people that in life and love, I was defeated.
The picture was powerful and there is obviously something there,
to have such an emotional reaction, the evidence is clear...
So, I have some stuff to work through, I am not afraid to admit,
but I will not surrender, no I am not one to quit.
Instead, I will use that photo as my daily reason to see tomorrow,
hoping after enough days, I will wake without so much sorrow.
Maybe after several months, the sun will once again shine,
hopefully at some point it will once again warm this heart of mine.
Maybe one day in the future, someone will once again smile in my direction,
maybe before my time comes, I will once again receive true love & affection.
It is this uncertainty that will keep me reaching for another day,
maybe my future still holds something great, a unknown reason for me to stay.

Original Work by: Shawn A.

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Thank You, Random Stranger