He was a professor of difficult sums,
thought in quadratic equations
and from the works of Lobachevsky
he could spew forth quotations.
But he had a hidden secret,
not a creature of the light,
dressed in Robin Hood suit
he prowled through the night.
Many a homeward bound drunk
had doubted what he'd seen,
this tall, bow bearing figure
Dressed in suit of Lincoln Green.
But, here's the little twist
to our hero's unusual story,
he robbed the poor to help the rich
like many a card bearing Tory.
His nemesis came in the shape of
one Detective Constable Brown
whose reactions to his demands
was to quickly Taser him down.
He's a reformed character now for
They only gave a year's probation
And lots of Community Service
Teaching mathematics to the Nation.
And, so, as time quickly passes
that's the way that he becomes
appointed to the House of Lords
as the Minister for Difficult Sums,
his Criminal Record now regarded
as just a small mental aberration.
He's feted, lauded and regarded
as a flower of this Great Nation.
He follows the whip zealously,
but deep down inside he plots
to maximise his expenses claims,
a leopard seldom changes its spots.
Thank heaven he's in the Lords or
it could have been more sinister:
we could have had a thief and liar
serving as our new Prime Minister.