Situations Vacant column,
Not being one to shirk,
With me flat rent to pay
I'd really needed to work.
Jobs going at M.I.8.
I thought give I'd it a try.
I rather fancied the thought
Of being a British spy.
Vacancies at M.I.8
I thought the ad had said
But in my enthusiasm
I'd obviously misread.
I got the job,
I started that day,
Laying out traffic cones,
On the M18 motorway.
Not exactly James Bond
In the things that I did
More like, in truth.
The Yorkie Bar Kid.
I didn't last very long,
Unemployed and broke.
Laid cones across each lane
Just for a little joke.
Miles of queuing vehicles
All driving towards the South
You wouldn't believe the language
That poured forth from each mouth.
So I got back in me little lorry
And without a backward glance
Made good me escape
While i still had the chance.
When I'd finished me sentence,
When they finally set me free,
Me prank got me a job as
A Personality on Reality TV.
I'm earning loads of dosh
Just because I'd misread.
If I'd gone and been a spy
By now I could've been dead.
Every cloud has a silver lining
As me old granny used to say.
I'm rich and famous now
For me prank on the Motorway.
And nobody believes me now
When I tell them the reason why
I'd ended up in prison because
I'd had visions of being a spy.
