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A Life Changing RealizationIt's one of the most depressing realizations to ever grace my mind,
one that caused me to spiral right back down into that black hole of mine.
The day that I realized, I am nobody's favorite person,
no one considers me their best friend, I'm like the disposable version.
Take me or leave me, very few seem to actually care,
not that I need many, but some that I thought would be...are no longer there.
The only person who I've considered my best friend for the last decade and a half,
is now onto greener pastures, but with a beach....and my heart as a snack.
I know that it's different, because we are now on separate paths,
but that's just because she left, with the compass and the map.
She has a destination, but I am no longer invited,
our life, and apparently all that goes with it, is being divided.
This fills me with sorrow, I just want to talk to her every single day,
but I know this can't happen, and so I have to push that feeling away.
I have a few friends, but it is definitely not the same,
we don't share the same connection, but they're not to blame.
It's just that, our vibe was on point, different but a lovely mesh,
so many nights of laughter, sometimes for nothing...those were the best.
Inside jokes, shared experiences, moments to recall,
each one unique, and shared between us, the best of all.
I don't feel as comfortable around anyone else like I did with you,
I've never really been myself around others, you know this to be true.
They would all think I am beyond weird, which you did, but also loved,
and this let me be myself and then I could really open up.
There is no one else that I can say shares this bond,
you hold a special place in my heart, with ducks and a pond.
So now I am changing myself, changin my thinking,
changing my ways, might start heavily drinking...
meeting new people, making new connections,
going to make changes in my life, headed in new directions.
I don't know what this means, or where it will take me,
I might die old in this house, or in months it could be vacant.
I really don't know what to do now, but only my job keeps me here,
I could start over in a new place, just pack up and disappear.
Maybe in a new place, someone will seek out my company,
maybe someone, somewhere will want to spend their time with me.
Maybe one day someone will love me just as much as I love them,
that would be nice, but it's highly improbable I will love like before, or ever again.
But this realization has been a life changin one,
I'm pursuing new goals, and most importantly... Beast. Mode. On.
Original Work by: Shawn A.