Oh, you can't make love on a tandem
No matter how much you'd like
When it comes down to it a tandem
Is just a big awkward form of byke
Subject to natural forces,
Gravity the most of all,
Without balanced forward motion
You'd certainly be doomed to fall.
If the desire still persists
It's possible you may like
To transfer your love making
To a large three wheeler trike.
No need of balance or motion,
It has a really stable base,
So if you really must insist it's
A much less dangerous place.
in my honest opinion, however,
Whichever alternative you chose
It's only a certain type of person
Who'd make love on either of those .