Just thoughts

I have these thoughts.
The last time I flipped out…I chose to ignore them
I keep choosing to ignore them….
Because you keep putting forth the energy…
I keep choosing you
I keep choosing to do what you expect
I’m not so friendly
There aren’t any new people outside of customers
I wear a ring on my finger that’s symbolic of us
A future commitment that I’m honoring now.
I have no strays.
I have no defense mechanisms outside of the mess of the four walls I live in
There’s only me for you…
Without you there is just me
Need…surely is a strong word
But in my past experiences….
I’ve needed you
I struggle. Not with others but with you.
No one else matches my spirit
I fear you’ll get tired of my incompetence….
You’ll outgrow me.
I’m sorry. I’m truly trying.
It is hard.
But I’m going to get it.
Me just pray you’re around when it happens
I’m stronger in some areas than most…
But I’m learning.
Sundays. The first day of the week. Sweep….wash clothes….wash dishes.
Every first day of the week.
Monday….quiet day
I do not want to lose you….
I want to be a better person….
I’m working towards being a better person
I know you’re tired….

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Just thoughts