We’re the policemen of the world
And before you bother to ask
No, nobody appointed us
It’s our self imposed task.
We’re the policemen of the world
There to provide a stable oversight
Just have a little patience please
One day we’re bound to get it right.
We tried to train an Afghan army
To handle their own defence
But we had to be so careful
We didn’t cause any offence,
And anyway we used contractors
Which may have been a blob
After they took their profit
No much left to do a decent job.
They were mainly paper soldiers
That was all they could afford
When the cuts had been taken
By each local Warlord.
We really can understand
How the West are alarmed
That, thanks to our generosity
The Taliban are so well armed.
But they’ve promised to be different
And will let progress progress on,
Or at least they say they will until
Every last foreign troop is gone.
To be fair, after twenty years
The profits were getting thin
Nowhere near as much as
When we first moved in.
Nobody ever told us that
You’ve never been defeated
Or maybe we would have
Sooner strategically retreated.
So, thank you for your help
We so enjoyed our stay
Afghanistan a last goodbye
Hope y’all have a nice day.
It’s time to regroup now that
Our muscles have been flexed,.
Just a matter of deciding where
We’ll be destabilising next.
